Monday, July 28, 2014

When Monday Goes Horribly Terribly Wrong. Again.

It's taken me a week to get over the trauma of last Monday and write this. Even now, I'm feeling a little anxious and hoping I make it through today's Monday. They say things come in three's - I think that's just to lull you into a false sense of security once the third thing hits you. Then you relax and "bam", the fourth one hits you and no amounting of screaming at the sky "But I already had 3" will make any difference. In fact, you will look like a nut job.
  1. I woke up to discover that the power had gone out at about 11:30pm on Sunday night. No one told me because I was asleep and Albert didn't notice that there was no internet or cable TV. When I got ready for work, there was an estimated resolution time of 8am. Most of the fridge food* was already done for but I threw a few things into the slightly cooler freezer in the hopes of salvaging them once the power came back on. Which it did. At 4pm. The reason for a power outage affecting 2200 people for that long? Mylar Balloons. These are the foil balloons that have "Happy Birthday" or "Sorry Your Power Went Out" on them. According to LADWP, two of them hit the lines and knocked out a massive chunk of Los Angeles destroying my food and the neighbor's breast milk. But more importantly, what is going on when balloons can take out our power supply?What's next? A kite hitting the water supply? Who cares about the Zombie Apocalypse when we can be taken down by balloons and kites.
  2. Confident yet sadly mistaken that power would be restored imminently, I headed off to a doctor's appointment on my way to work. I was in and out pretty quickly only to find that my car was completely dead. The good news is that my stereo still worked so I was able to entertain myself. The bad news is that I was at the bottom level of the parking building and had no cellphone reception so I had to leave my dance party in a car and head up to call Triple A. Who were pretty awesome and got there, diagnosed a flat battery and replaced it with a new one, all in 30 minutes. Scott and I talked about our jobs and I offered to switch with him but only for 4 hours, a 12 hour shift is not really my cup of tea. Other than that, I think I would be pretty good at it. As long as I didn't have to fix anything.
  3. After a long day, I headed home all set to to go yoga the shit out of Monday, only to step in Albert's version of Monday in the hallway. I know, you're wondering if it can get any worse. Yes it can.
  4. No one brought me donuts even though I really wanted them
*No big deal, how were they to know that Sunday was my grocery shopping day and my fridge and freezer were full?

Friday, July 25, 2014

Have You Ever Been On A Date...

  1. Your prospective date asks you out and then requests to be picked up at the train station* because he doesn't own a car but informs you that he is doing you the courtesy of coming to you and;
  2. Asks you to pick a restaurant within his budget limits** and finally;
  3. Asks you to find a Sports Bar*** to go to so he can watch the game before we go to dinner?
No, me either. Have you heard the story about a straw that broke a camel's back?

*I could live with this one and pretended he didn't own a car because he was environmentally conscious instead of the truth that he was going from Real Estate to Massage Therapy (without any training) and therefore had no job and sold his...
**I have no issue with a budget but if you ask me out, shouldn't you put some effort into finding the place?

This wasn't a recent event, just remembered it when he tried to solicit business from me recently through Twitter.  He's now doing alternative energy sources...guess that massage therapy "because I have good hands" didn't really pan out.

Thursday, July 24, 2014


Who uses Viber?  Or WhatsApp?  Brilliant, right?  Makes my heart skip for joy knowing that I am texting and calling friends and family* all over the world for free and no greedy phone company is taking my money.

Right now my Mum is on an amazing European trip - I'm seriously impressed with all the places she has been to, the miles she has cycled and the experiences she has had**.  However, we're still working on the Viber part.  I get great messages from her describing her day and where they've been and then she sends a picture that she's taken.
"Look at this fantastic castle we cycled past today."
 Actually this is her cat, Gus - apparently waiting to be served and halfway through his glass of wine.  So, we're working on this and now that the trip has come to an end, she's pretty much nailed it, have not see this picture of Gus in the last 2 weeks.

And for anyone that thinks I'm being mean, I am very proud of her for doing this and mastering the technology now that she no longer has a flip phone.  But it's still funny... 

*Well, I called once. 
**Wine.  And castles

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Event No. 2

So for my Saturday night I decide to go to a new Meet-Up group event.  For those of you that don't know about Meet-Up...good.  Invariably they are pretty average. But there is a Meet-Up group for anything you can think of* and some of them have a pretty big turnout.  This one was supposed to have 533 people and I was planning on talking to 530 of them - there's always a few that you don't want to bother with.  It was titled "Christmas in July Bonfire".  July was correct.  Everything else, not so much.  Apparently last year's was held at the beach but due to the fact that you can't drink alcohol on any SoCal beach without getting ticketed by the police, the location was changed.  To a Credit Union.  I know - that's the first place I thought of too.  Because nothing says "Christmas in July Bonfire" like a Credit Union**

Still, it was a pretty well organized event and I admire the coordinator for pulling that many people together.  The big drawcard for me was the 2 Lechon pigs that she ordered (and the S'mores but I wasn't quick enough for them).  Basically 2 fat suckling roast piggies eyeballing me.  One of them even had teeth still.  I probably could have done without seeing their faces, snouts and little legs propped up underneath them.  But I managed to push through and eat his left flank anyway.

There's no point texting him, he's dead.
Think he has probably had better days...
Silently screaming...
Woo hoo bonfire!  Now that's what I call a...well a fire in a grate.
This was a gathering for  "Professionals" (but I went anyway).  As did this gentleman.  Nothing says "Professional;" like a tank top with the words "Who needs big guns, when you've got a big dick."
 *I just thought of at least ten things that there are not Meet-Up groups for so that's not true.
**Courtyard and parking lot so plenty of space.  Although only about 200 showed up so I was able to really stretch out in front of the bonfire.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

The First Of My Weekend Events...

Neither of which was a success* but at least it gives me something to write about...

USC Pacific Asia Museum in Pasadena was having a "Fusion Friday" night. With wine. Why would I turn that down? I love wine. That sounds like they invited me as an honored guest. Not so, I invited myself and honored them with my presence. But just for an hour*...

The evening's festivities.  Note: Did not win the prize but did win Happy Hour.  If winning Happy Hour means buying wine.

This person let me sit next to them on their bench.  It was their first selfie...

One of these things is not like the other.  That's right, old guy in the background - get out of my authentic cultural photo.  And stop making it blurry.
This is the Korean drumming section leaving.  They waited until I went to the bathroom before starting and we synchronized our finish times..I'm sure they were excellent.

What you're not seeing here is the girl dancing with ribbons on her hat.  You're seeing the spot that she was in.  I'm sure she was excellent too.  Probably feels like you're getting the complete cultural experience with all of my quality photos. 
Possibly a blind sheep?
Very pretty lily pond.  Mostly none of my feet landed in here when trying to take a photo of aforementioned cultural events.
Craft center - putting clothes on the Korean dolls.  Not my hands.  I would have done it better.  And used buttons.
At least he gave her eyes.  Tried to help with my previous female garden gnome painting experience but there was a language barrier...
Car Park (Parking Lot) Dragon.  Does not watch over car park, I had to park on the street - thought he would have saved me a spot.
*And by success, I mean I did not win the door prize of millions of dollars, make new friends or have an awesome time.
**Am not sure they noticed I was there. Or that I left...

Monday, July 21, 2014

The Calm That Yoga Brings

You're sitting there breathing into your core, out through your lats and letting everything go that happened that day for 90 minutes of "you" time. Nothing can disturb your zen-like flow. Except for the screeching outside of a car coming to an abrupt halt. You barely have time to move past that and continue your breathing because someone just smacked into the back of the first car. Collectively you all gasp which is a good indication that (a) None of us was actually in the zen-like zone and (b) we're all pretty nice because we felt bad. Well, not me because they should have been watching what they were doing, but everyone else*. This is not my first accident while at yoga, it's prime position for regular occurrences. Thankfully have not seen anyone get hurt.** 
Since I don't want to be insensitive and show a picture of the car crash (which would imply that I ran out of yoga and snapped a shot - which I did not.  Because no one else was going...) and I couldn't find any yoga pose crashes other than myself tipping forward in Crow and not so gently touching my nose to the ground, I am entertaining you all with a cute cat picture.
Honestly, you never know what you're going to get at yoga.

*Think they were checking out our Downward Dogs...
**Added that in case people thought my earlier comment was a bit callous.

Friday, July 18, 2014

Flirting Skills

I don't have any. When someone says something nice, I should smile sexily and respond with something other than "potato". Also, looking at them and hoping they know what I am thinking does not appear to be working either. Not sure this is my fault other than for picking stupid people. I'm kind of banking on seducing someone with my awkwardness.  I hope you weren't looking for advice.