Tuesday, July 22, 2014

The First Of My Weekend Events...

Neither of which was a success* but at least it gives me something to write about...

USC Pacific Asia Museum in Pasadena was having a "Fusion Friday" night. With wine. Why would I turn that down? I love wine. That sounds like they invited me as an honored guest. Not so, I invited myself and honored them with my presence. But just for an hour*...

The evening's festivities.  Note: Did not win the prize but did win Happy Hour.  If winning Happy Hour means buying wine.

This person let me sit next to them on their bench.  It was their first selfie...

One of these things is not like the other.  That's right, old guy in the background - get out of my authentic cultural photo.  And stop making it blurry.
This is the Korean drumming section leaving.  They waited until I went to the bathroom before starting and we synchronized our finish times..I'm sure they were excellent.

What you're not seeing here is the girl dancing with ribbons on her hat.  You're seeing the spot that she was in.  I'm sure she was excellent too.  Probably feels like you're getting the complete cultural experience with all of my quality photos. 
Possibly a blind sheep?
Very pretty lily pond.  Mostly none of my feet landed in here when trying to take a photo of aforementioned cultural events.
Craft center - putting clothes on the Korean dolls.  Not my hands.  I would have done it better.  And used buttons.
At least he gave her eyes.  Tried to help with my previous female garden gnome painting experience but there was a language barrier...
Car Park (Parking Lot) Dragon.  Does not watch over car park, I had to park on the street - thought he would have saved me a spot.
*And by success, I mean I did not win the door prize of millions of dollars, make new friends or have an awesome time.
**Am not sure they noticed I was there. Or that I left...

Monday, July 21, 2014

The Calm That Yoga Brings

You're sitting there breathing into your core, out through your lats and letting everything go that happened that day for 90 minutes of "you" time. Nothing can disturb your zen-like flow. Except for the screeching outside of a car coming to an abrupt halt. You barely have time to move past that and continue your breathing because someone just smacked into the back of the first car. Collectively you all gasp which is a good indication that (a) None of us was actually in the zen-like zone and (b) we're all pretty nice because we felt bad. Well, not me because they should have been watching what they were doing, but everyone else*. This is not my first accident while at yoga, it's prime position for regular occurrences. Thankfully have not seen anyone get hurt.** 
Since I don't want to be insensitive and show a picture of the car crash (which would imply that I ran out of yoga and snapped a shot - which I did not.  Because no one else was going...) and I couldn't find any yoga pose crashes other than myself tipping forward in Crow and not so gently touching my nose to the ground, I am entertaining you all with a cute cat picture.
Honestly, you never know what you're going to get at yoga.

*Think they were checking out our Downward Dogs...
**Added that in case people thought my earlier comment was a bit callous.

Friday, July 18, 2014

Flirting Skills

I don't have any. When someone says something nice, I should smile sexily and respond with something other than "potato". Also, looking at them and hoping they know what I am thinking does not appear to be working either. Not sure this is my fault other than for picking stupid people. I'm kind of banking on seducing someone with my awkwardness.  I hope you weren't looking for advice.

Thursday, July 17, 2014


In order to meet new people, sometimes one must do things that they would not normally choose to do. And they must pretend to like it. And get the tee-shirt. And maybe even a bumper sticker. For me this is joining a Social Sports League*. There are several around and they usually have two options - Competitive and Non-Competitive. I rank myself at below Non-Competitive when it comes to sports unless we are talking Crosswords or Scrabble in which case I will rip you apart.

When I lived in Portland, I joined a Kickball league which is not a sport we have in New Zealand. Despite being on a team made up of friends of mine, it was not a huge success. In the first game, while I successfully caught the ball (a minor miracle), I then got taken out by an opposing team member who viewed tagging the base differently to me. Ended up with bloody knee, torn pants and a "Player of the Game" pity award. Also pizza. Which quite frankly was the only reason I joined in the first place.

So, if I must, I am prepared to try this again** but honestly, I would rather do any of these first:
  1. Poke my eyeballs out with a stick. Doesn't even need to be sharp or pointy
  2. Walk on Lego
  3. Go shopping for swimsuits and/or jeans
  4. Mop hardwood floors
  5. Go to the tip/dump
  6. Go to work
  7. Move house
  8. Eat sardines
  9. Sing in public
  10. Master Math
*Is there a league out there that will just let come to the games and watch but participate in the drinking and eating at bars afterwards? Because I think I would excel at that. I'll even pay full dues...I think we can all agree that everyone is better off when I don't play.
**First, one must make the decision on which sport to play:

  • Dodgeball seems dangerous given my face's ability to catch balls. 
  • Kickball is a little more likely but not if they expect any level of skill. 
  • Soccer - despite having played for a lot of my childhood, very little rubbed off and I'm not good for much more than prancing around by the goal post pretending I am participating. 
  • Basketball - let me stop you right there. 
  • Softball - I don't think I should be in charge of a bat. 
  • Volleyball - it's possible but I'm not doing it in a bikini. Or on sand. Or on a court. Ok, I guess I'm not doing volleyball. 
  • Darts - traumatic experience involving a backwards flying dart and a war veteran's head has ruled this out. 
  • Pool/Snooker - yes but I'm only good during beers 2 and 3. Before and after are a bit random so there's a very small window.
  • Bowling - makes me angry

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

LA River Rafting...Through Pictures

Not a kayak. 
River shoes.  Always be prepared.  And if you can be prepared in pink, all the better.

River shoes in action.  My goal was to keep my feet dry and preserve my pretty shoes.  Nailed it...
Friends of the LA River stop off point.  Absolutely no frogs.  Very misleading.
Spied some wildlife and crept up close to get a shot.  Also, man in a helmet.  Birds apparently not afraid of him.  He is the Bird Whisperer.
Paddle instruction.  I aced this.  Only hit two people with my paddle and hardly fell down the bank at all.  Probably get an award of some sort...

Ahhh.  How's the serenity...
When you go kayaking, always take 5 teenagers with you.  It'll be awesome (ish).
Very hard to take a selfie in a kayak.  Let's all pretend this man is me.  Except I was better.
Just your classic river graffiti...PTB - Pop The Boat? 
Everyone still intact - big improvement on 2 mins before.  They're all acting super casual for this photo, as if they weren't arse backwards a few minutes ago.
Toot toot.
Can hardly tell we're surrounded by concrete.  Also, we can't get out.
I finally saw wildlife...even if he wouldn't turn around.  White Egret.  Looks like plastic shopping bag but pretty sure it's nature.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

I feel bad...

...for not writing anything and disappointing my fan. Maybe I'll just knock something out now*.

Have you ever been kayaking in the LA River? I have. So that's ten points for me and none for you. It's a pretty different experience** than any other kayaking I've done - you're basically going down a canal that's concreted and fenced on either side. This was done around 1938*** after catastrophic flooding made it necessary and now it's basically a flood control channel. That may or may not be right - I was mostly listening to the guide but as we know I'm easily distra...

Anyway, there is a whole eco system that developed and it's a pretty cool experience with a couple of rapids, 7 different types of fish (mostly carp, although as is normal when I approach, all wildlife immediately vacated the area) and some plants on the side that made a point of grabbing me every time.

So, if you come back tomorrow, fan, I'll share some pictures of some blurry things and water. It sounds so interesting and appealing. I can hardly wait.


**Well there was that one time at camp when we had to learn how to roll back up if we got trapped upside down. Technically I believe it's called an Eskimo Roll. I may have mentioned this before but this was not one of those things that I nailed. I know, I can hardly believe it either. Anyway, in a nutshell, I ended up with hypothermia and had to be driven home, vomiting and delirious. Just between me and my fan - I remember thinking I had to go to the bathroom and then thinking I was there and peeing in my sleeping bag. Pretty sure that thing just got rolled up and put back in the cupboard. I don't use that one.
***That's History, right there.  You're welcome.

Monday, July 14, 2014


...you know what happens when the person that works for you, quits? It means you are too busy to write in your non-profitable blog. My job, my blog? Only one of these things actually pays me. I should have brought her donuts. That would make me stay. I'm a terrible manager. I forgot the donuts.

Anyway. Maybe I will write something tomorrow. Maybe Wednesday. Maybe I will win the lottery. Maybe someone will bring me donuts. If I win the lottery, I will buy all the world's donuts. Then there will be a massive donut party. But you will have to bring cupcakes or something because these are my donuts. Actually, now I want your cupcakes. Everything that is yours, I want to be mine. I'm going through a selfish phase.