5:30am

No one should be up at this time.  It's dark so it's clearly night time.  And the only benefit is that no one can see me making my sad little way to Boot Camp in the park or even better, attempting to work out.*  And let me be clear, I'm only going because the McFinlayson** in me saw a good deal.  $35 for 3, one hour sessions a week, for a month.  And the park is at the bottom of my street - it's almost illegal for me not to do this. I wish I'd never found it, then I wouldn't have been guilted into doing it.  It's pretty sad when you can't ignore your own feelings of guilt.  I mean who am I planning on turning myself in to if I don't do this?  The Kirsten Police*** are bad enough...

For the record, you can't move in this park without running into another boot camp, although most seem to be at a more reasonable hour.  As I finished and walked through back through the park on my way home the other day, I overheard an instructor telling his people that the butt was an amazing muscle.  And one of his participants in a low voice, responding with "not my butt".  See, everyone loves working out...

So far everyone seems very nice although I am avoiding making friends in case they are better than me.  I'm waiting for someone that I can beat to join.  Hope that happens before Daylight Savings, also known as Quitting Time, kicks in.  Although it's not really the place for making friends since you need to save all your breath for breathing.  

The first day is always the hardest.  Especially when the instructor shows up with scales and a ridiculous machine - that was obviously broken - that calculates your body fat.  Whoa.  I did not sign up for this.  I signed up for some gentle calisthenics, same laying down on our mats and taking a group nap and possibly meeting my next boyfriend.  Groupon, you have betrayed me.

So far I have done two weeks and have two to go.  Everyone keeps talking in hushed tones about the "long run" which is awfully mysterious and quite frankly sounds awful.  Two words that should never go together.  Since most fitness classes in LA cost about $25 an hour, I've already gotten my money's worth, so maybe I don't need to go back?  After all, look what happened in Stephen King's, "The Long Walk".  That was just walking and everyone died except the winner which based on my own assessment of my skills, I'm pretty sure would not be me****. 

*Obviously I'll have to quit once Daylight Savings starts.  It's either that or become a super athlete before then.  Quitting it is.
**Cheap Scot - love a good bargain.  Just prefer it to be unrelated to exercise...
***This is a new thing that I just thought of.  Think I will write a handbook detailing all the rules.  Basically you (and by you, I mean me) can't do anything without being berated.
****Be a different case if it was the Long Math.  Everyone knows how good I am at Math.  I would definitely win that.  As long as their was no Long Division.That's just made-up math.

Daylight Savings

For my reader in Cyprus - you're new. Thanks for reading. BTW - I'm on daylight savings now. Just in case you tried to call and got no answer. Also. Please don't call, I don't know who you are.

Generally daylight savings doesn't mess me up but yesterday morning, it was near impossible to get up and exercise. So I didn't. It was close to impossible to get up and go to work but I didn't think a $5 cancellation fee was going to work with my boss. So I went. But my hair was Sunday's hair and so was my attitude.

Why don't they* start it on a Friday night so we can have the weekend to get over it? Someone without a job made that rule up. The only good thing is that now you don't have to remember to run around and change all your clocks. With the exception of car (or at least mine, there are probably fancier ones that will do it), stove, microwave and VCR, everything else pretty much updates itself.

I did find some interesting facts** on Daylight Savings though:

1. Lord Howe Island in Australia just does a half hour shift. Isn't that just so typical.
2. There's a spike in heart attacks during the first week of daylight saving time, according to a study published in 2008. Next time I will be telling my boss I couldn't come in because Daylight Savings gave me a heart attack. Which is somewhat true, I was very surprised to hear it was happening already. My heart gave a small jump,. And not for joy. Possibly due to a clog from a cookie earlier in the day...
3. People are safer drivers during Daylight Savings.  I personally believe this, I find it much easier to read my texts in the daylight than when I am driving at night.
4. In 2005, Kazakhstan abolished daylight saving time, citing negative health effects. The country's government reportedly calculated that 51.6 percent of Kazakhs responded badly to the time change. Seems a very slim margin - could have gone either way...bet 48.4% of people are still pissed about it. It's probably what they ask when they meet someone new "So were you for or against?"
5. Daylight Savings results in an decrease of cake sales.  With more daylight hours, the calories can be seen as opposed to when eaten in the dark.  If you can't see them, they can't see you and you won't put on weight.  This seems scientifically sound.
6. Your hair will grow more during the Daylight Savings period.  Just because.  I made that up because I want longer hair.

*And for the record, who is they? Who made the Daylight Savings rule? The only places that don't do it are China, countries near the equator, and the US States of Hawaii and Arizona. So there must be a worldwide body that governs this. They must love their job, they probably meet every six months and everyone throws a date in the hat for each region, probably pick their lotto numbers with the results and screw with all of us. Also, if you know the answers to this and send me a bunch of info about it, you should know that I don't really care and I won't read it. Like I mentioned yesterday, very short attention span.
**Some of which I made up.

How many of you still think I own a VCR? How many of you don't know what a VCR is? Congratulations you just participated in an involuntary poll for which you will not be paid. I'm going to do something amazing with this research. Like buy a new VCR.