Cat. Free To Good Home

I've reached my limit with Albert this week. Not only has he pooped inside the house despite having a perfectly good cat ramp to use to get outside, he brought me what appears to be parts of a dead baby bird at 3am.   

It could have been a grown-up bird that he scalped but I think it just hadn't developed all its feathers yet.  It certainly hadn't developed any evasion or flight skills if it managed to be captured by a one-eyed, special needs cat.  

The last straw was spending an hour vacuuming up all his fur, brushing him to remove any sheddable* excess and getting out of the shower only to find he had downloaded all his fur onto the bathmat.  He gave me a look that clearly implied "try getting wet fur off the bottom of your feet" before leaving for the couch, without a backwards glance.

Is anyone interested in a free cat?  He's very clean, well-trained, loves nature...only has one eye but both ears and all four legs.  Slight heart murmur.  And a bit snorey** at times.

*Spellcheck says this is not a word.  For the record, Spellcheck also says spellcheck is not a word so I'm not inclined to believe something so contradictory.  Therefore, it is a word.
**Spellcheck also doesn't like this word.  Frankly I'm inclined to agree.