Why Am I Not A Ballerina?

Beats me. I had years of training. It was repeatedly reported on my exam feedback that I had a lovely smile. Pretty sure that's all it takes. 

They did also mention a lack of rhythm but that can't be it. 

I noticed a bias towards girls that had straight hair because it is harder to put curly hair in a bun and make it stay there. Even with hairspray. But that can't be it. Not when accompanied by a lovely smile.

Maybe it was the wearing of a tutu?  But really, who actually looks good in a tutu? Even when wearing a lovely smile.  That can't be it.

Just look at the arm extension.  And the lovely smile.  Yes, that is a slightly limp tutu that my mother"bedazzled'...

Not your most common ballet pose but I think I've pulled it off.

I think the problem is that I didn't have a proper ballet mum.  That'll be it.  She didn't own one of those flip open make-up cases with fake eyelashes for 5 year olds and she didn't always stay to catch the lesson so she could critique me during practice at home*.  We were a bit more of the wing-it type.  I was dropped off with my hairbrush so I could create whatever style I thought was ballet appropriate** and then picked up later.  If I was lucky, we would have fish and chips after.  That can be damaging to a tutu but the protein in fish is essential for building ballet muscle.

I know it looks like I did my own make-up but I swear this was what we all had to wear for this recital.  Note the hair not in a bun.  All kinds of ballet mother angst backstage over that one.  Except for my mother who thought it looked nice.

Plus there was that time when my father, brother and his best friend came to a recital and couldn't control their hysterical laughing.  To be fair, the lead male dancer (all the way from Auckland) should have worn a cup (or is that just for things like football?) or less form-fitting pants that didn't allow us to see that something else was dancing in time with him...that probably didn't help my chances.

*Mostly because we didn't really practice at home.  Really wasn't necessary because of the lovely smile.  Similar to Golf - if you wear a kick-arse outfit, no one will notice that the ball is still on the mini sticky thing.   
**Sometimes another mother would grab me and spray me into submission so you had to be quick.

Youth Of Today

Over the weekend I met up with my friend Ned (not his real name*), a good friend from home who is in town for a conference. We met at his hotel in downtown LA where interestingly enough the Miley Cyrus concert was happening next door. This is a very nice hotel, however Ned was surprised that there were so many prostitutes hanging around in the lobby. He was even more surprised when I pointed out that they were not prostitutes, just Miley Cyrus concert goers.

Good news for us - 2 hours of quality people watching and building up our list of "What Not To Wear".

• No tutus**
• No leotards - I really wasn't expecting this one. Feel like the skirt might have fallen off in the taxi but she seemed awfully comfortable strolling around the Marriott. Nice sparkly silver jacket though...
• Shorts that don't fit. Seemed very popular item. Must also come up higher than one's crotch. I know, doesn't seem possible. In some cases, it wasn't possible but didn't stop them trying...
• Silver bra.  Apparently a stand-alone item.  Who knew.
• Extreme wedge heels. Which is fine.  As long as you know how to walk in them.  Some very weak ankles out there.  There is a right and wrong way to walk in sky high heels - if you look like a new born calf trying to stand, you're doing it wrong.

*Ironically this is not his real name, however this is what we have always called him so even thought it is an alias, I have now blown his cover. Sorry Ned.
**Maybe I can rock one from time to time but Ned felt it was a little much for him and he might have to shave his legs. I said why bother - they hadn't...