I also keep tabs on my body image and how I am looking when I leave the house every day. Based on the stats below, it's not good. I had hoped as I got older, things would improve but this is not the case. The data doesn't lie.
I am not clear what exactly putting this in graph form does/shows but I've never used this donut one before.
If you need to use one of these charts in a presentation, you are welcome. For a small fee. Fee flow chart is below and will assist you in determining whether or not you need to send me money:
- Cobwebs - it's not even the spiders, it's that you can't see what your face is covered in and removing them is like trying to brush your hair with boxing gloves on*. Also, it's the spiders. Because they might turn into cockroaches.**
- Valet Parking - they always open the door before you have all your stuff so your exit is awkward and rushed and when in a dress, unladylike. And heaven help me if I'm wearing heels as well. I may as well just open the door and fall out. This has happened and let me tell you, it's very hard to come back from and look dignified. And then you can never go there again. I never have the right change AND money for a tip so then it becomes a "hi - here's $2 in quarters and a $1 in pennies. I put it in this plastic sandwich bag for your convenience". Also, I feel like they don't like my music because it's always turned off when I get back in. There are a lot of places I can never go back to because of valet parking.
- Quicksand - ever since Tarzan got trapped in it, I've had a fear of quicksand. It's like bears, you're just not sure what you can and can't do. Although I don't recommend the fetal position in quicksand and that's my go to when threatened by a bear. Which has never happened. But I believe in practice. Oddly enough, quicksand seemed like a bigger threat when I was kid and felt the danger of running into it was always imminent***.
Despite all my fears, I firmly believe that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except bears. Bears will kill you.
*Verified - I tried just to make sure this was valid. Just finished cutting hair brush out of hair. Which can also not be done with boxing gloves on. Very little can be done. Punching is fine though.
**Unsubstantiated but it's only a matter of time
***Quicksand has never been found in my home town. Which doesn't even make it close to imminent. It makes it very far away and unlikely. Which is exactly when quicksand will get you.
