Jobs I Have Had - Part 3

Have you ever picked ragwort? In New Zealand it's considered a noxious weed and farmers are obliged by law to remove it from their farms. Some of them use helicopters to spray it and knock it out in one sweep. Some are cheap. And use student labor. I thought it would a lovely day in the sun, working on my tan, picking a few pretty yellow flowers. No one said anything about a harness and being lowered over a cliff to pull it out by the root. Or being mobbed by sheep wanting a poisonous snack*

Actually, for that matter:

ASB Bank - I got paid slightly more than some of the other tellers because I had a degree. So that endeared them to me straightaway. Whose idea was it to tell everyone the salary rules? I had to wear a uniform which I actually didn't mind because making a decision about what to wear in the morning is where my day starts to go downhill. They were pretty strict about piercings and tattoos and all the women had to cover them up with band-aids. What looks worse, a tattoo you can see just a hint of under an ugly white bank blouse or 20 plus band-aids crawling up your neck and across your chest?

Have you ever had training on how to deal with a bank robbery?  Have you ever had to use it?  Why, yes and yes.  Training did not include hiding under your desk but I've always been big on improvising.  And look at me?  Alive.  Although in New Zealand, they don't really use guns, just very demanding, gruff voices so you know you better hand it over.  And may as well give them your colleagues handbag and wedding ring as well**

I wish I had a picture of myself in my uniform.  I look very smart and intelligent even.  I would totally give me money.  Plus as you know I have always had advanced math skills.  I can do long division.  Without a calculator.***

*Sheep. Not known for their intelligence.
**That'll teach her to bitch about my salary.  Of $26,000.  That's a year.  It's a wonder I had any shoes at all...
***Pretty sure my answers are correct about 40% of the time and when I learn how to do it on a calculator, I'll know for sure.  Then once I learn percentages, I'll be able to tell you if my estimate is right.  And then once I learn how to do statistics, I'll be able to...well you get the idea.  But not fractions, I think fractions might be my limit.  Luckily no one needs them.