Movie Review

Recently I went to see 100 Foot Journey. Here is my review:

1. The person sitting next to me was very annoying. I was not a fan. Everything they ate was noisy. Also their breathing was too loud, even though I politely asked them to stop. There was a minor incident when we fought for control of the arm rest. But I don't think he'll make that mistake again.
2. The person in front of me had a non normal sized head that blocked the whole screen. Also they were too tall. Should tall people be allowed in the movie theaters or should they be given the back row? Did their parents think this through when they were making them drink their milk to grow tall and strong? I think not.
3. The sound quality was excellent. Not too loud and not too quiet. Well done.
4. I cannot say the same for the popcorn. It was too loud when I was chewing which for whatever reason only happened during the absolutely silent moments. How does popcorn do that? It's like AI popcorn. It's a sad day when popcorn might be smarter than you.
5. Children. Who is bringing children to a movie like this? Children should only be allowed in their own movies, the doors should be locked and it should be survival of the fittest.
6. Dogs. Just because you have a handbag dog, does not mean you should take it to see a movie. Especially one about food. It was licking it's lips the whole time - although might have had more to do with a sneaky lick of my popcorn. Luckily the super-smart popcorn alerted me after one lick.
7. Previews - there were only 2.  This is the reason I go to the movies.  How else will I see all the movies coming up that I won't ever make it to?  Why only two?  Also, I was late but still. 
8. Air-conditioning - much appreciated and cooler than my house.  The only annoying part is you can't sleep-over.
9. No one showed me to my seat with a flashlight.  When did that stop happening?  For $14.50, I expect to be escorted to my seat, tucked in, popcorn and drinks placed conveniently and asked if I need anything else.  Instead I had to go it alone.  It's a wonder I made it at all.
10. Walk to the theater - very pleasant. Did not get attacked or harassed so consider that a bonus feature.