Language...and Texting

I was having a conversation with a friend last week who was passionately trying to explain her approach to managing expectations of certain people and at the end she pointed out that "it's not brain science!" "Damn right", I replied. "I totally agree. And what is Brain Science*?" Turns out it's a combination of "Rocket Science" and "Brain Surgery"** and an on the spot unintentional invention that might have just proven that language and saying the right thing is actually "Rocket Brain Surgery Science."

I've decided that I love Brain Science and I am now working it into every sentence I can. You should too.  Let's start something new. 

Examples:

• Hey Special K, how's your day going? Pretty good, just over here doing some brain science.
• Hi Special K, I'd like to go over your 2014 performance goals. Sure. 1. Do more brain science.
• You have a dentist appointment at 3pm. Well, I sure would like to make that but I have a clash with an appointment to get more brain science.
• What do you prefer - brain science or cake? Brain science says cake***.
• What are you doing? You wouldn't understand, it's brain science.

On a side note, I really wanted to write a post about the way auto-correct screws up what are trying to say in text messages. Except that this never happens to me. So I would be making stuff up and this blog is built on the truth and very little embellishment****. Auto-correct mix-ups are very popular with lots of websites out there and if I wasn't so lazy, I would look them up and list them for you.

And then just when I was thinking this never happened to me, it happened to me. I'm going to tell you right now, it's not even mildy amusing so don't get your hopes up for a hilarious time that will make your day. In fact, just skip right over.

I was texting with my trainer and we were talking about this very blog and I mentioned that I wrote it for me right now, which is good because I'm certainly not writing it for all the money that I'm getting. I explained that it was a comfort to me, which came out as "conifer". Which is clearly not comforting. It's a prickly fir tree. Nothing comforting about that. Mildly ironic and vaguely uninteresting. I'll let you know if I have any more.

*Looked it up on Wikipedia and there were variations but nothing specifically called Brain Science so it clearly is not a thing. Because Wikipedia is like the law.
**The usual go to's for comparing something that's not hard to something that is. In case you are stupid and didn't know this.
***This is the only instance in which you should not mix brain science with something,. It might talk you out of eating cake. And that would be a mistake.
****Very very not true.

New Year's Resolutions

I used to make all the big New Year resolutions like...

1. Exercise more
2. Lose weight
3. Save the world
4. Save the whales
5. Learn brain surgery

And then when I realized I couldn't stick to them for more than a couple of days or it wasn't working, I knocked the pressure down a notch and went to...

1. Floss every day
2. Wash makeup off before going to bed
3. Regular car maintenance*
4. Curse at other drivers, just a little bit less.** 

This year, I have resolved to do the following and since I'm putting it out here, I will now have to do them***:

1. Take a Math class****
2. Learn Spanish - really more of a brushing up on my skills since I am fluent. In hello.
3. Brush Albert daily.  Even writing this, I am bored already. Will just leave brush lying around with manual and see if he does it himself.  Technically cats should do their own grooming. Feel he might be a little spoiled.
4. Stop scraping hub caps against curb when parallel parking.  Hardly ever happens...
5. Buy self more gifts.  You should always have a selfless resolution where you give to others.  
   

2013 Successes of Note

1. Albert has finally started using his cat bed. While I wanted him to do this for some time, I have now realized, I have to clean his fur from it. Thinking it's time he went back to cold, hard, wooden floor. Any other parents out there experiencing thoughts like this with their babies and cots?
2. That is all.  It was a lean year.

*This is actually not possible.
**Work in progress - it's ok to start this one over every day
***Actually not true.  I am fickle and I don't care what you think of me for failing.  Also, I will lie about it. 
****Not actually necessary because I am brilliant at math but lately I have started to wonder if there is some new stuff that was discovered that I don't yet know how to do.  Like  addition and percentages.