You know when you go out to celebrate a friend's birthday on a school night and you're (a) going to be the responsible one and not get completely legless and (b) just have a couple because it's not your birthday and (c) go home and write tomorrow's blog post. Well, that didn't happen.
So, umm. How good is this post? Bro's before hoes, sisters before misters, friends before nothing that rhymes with blog posts. You get the point.
Showing posts with label Friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Friends. Show all posts
Friday, April 18, 2014
Friday, March 7, 2014
My Imaginary World...
Most of the time I live in the real world but on occasion, all the time, I live in my world. Which is imaginary and I always win. Also, I am beautiful, talented, sporty and my repartee is unparalleled. Sometimes I even give myself super tough nicknames like Rock, Ice, Sloan...and Steve.
I have imaginary competitions with girls that are trying to steal my imaginary boyfriends and we face off on various tasks and I am supremely good at all of them. And I have super cool speeches and comebacks and I always finish with "In your face, bitch". And I never run away and hide like I would if I did that in real life. Also, these girls are having a bad day with bloat. I am not. Did I mention that my hair is super shiny?
Turns out I am awesome at hiphop dance-offs, parachuting*, pole dancing**, karate***, chess and high wire acrobatics. Which is good because no one ever wants to battle me in my real world accomplishments. Like Scrabble. Which is a shame because (A) I am very good and (B) I have some pretty harsh "Yo Momma" scrabble disses****. Also, my ability to...actually Scrabble was it.
Thanks to my friend, Pharnell Phyler***** for suggesting I write about this. And for not laughing at my imaginary imaginings. Much.
*Even when the chute doesn't open because the imaginary girl who is trying to steal my imaginary boyfriends sabotaged me
**I do at least know the moves. I just can't do all of them in the real world.
***Pronounced the way Ross said it in "Friends". Who knows what I'm talking about?
****I have no clue what I am saying..."Yo Momma so bad at Scrabble she thinks asdkljalsdqnweryuzsf is a word". 55 points. Nice one, Momma.
*****Anyone that thinks that is his real name will have to fight me in my imaginary world. We will use nunchucks for that is the weapon to fight stupidity with.
I have imaginary competitions with girls that are trying to steal my imaginary boyfriends and we face off on various tasks and I am supremely good at all of them. And I have super cool speeches and comebacks and I always finish with "In your face, bitch". And I never run away and hide like I would if I did that in real life. Also, these girls are having a bad day with bloat. I am not. Did I mention that my hair is super shiny?
Turns out I am awesome at hiphop dance-offs, parachuting*, pole dancing**, karate***, chess and high wire acrobatics. Which is good because no one ever wants to battle me in my real world accomplishments. Like Scrabble. Which is a shame because (A) I am very good and (B) I have some pretty harsh "Yo Momma" scrabble disses****. Also, my ability to...actually Scrabble was it.
Thanks to my friend, Pharnell Phyler***** for suggesting I write about this. And for not laughing at my imaginary imaginings. Much.
*Even when the chute doesn't open because the imaginary girl who is trying to steal my imaginary boyfriends sabotaged me
**I do at least know the moves. I just can't do all of them in the real world.
***Pronounced the way Ross said it in "Friends". Who knows what I'm talking about?
****I have no clue what I am saying..."Yo Momma so bad at Scrabble she thinks asdkljalsdqnweryuzsf is a word". 55 points. Nice one, Momma.
*****Anyone that thinks that is his real name will have to fight me in my imaginary world. We will use nunchucks for that is the weapon to fight stupidity with.
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Blog Stats Update
I woke up with a little bit of cholera this morning but I'm doing OK. This self-diagnosing on the internet is saving me a lot of doctor's fees.
Blog Earnings Update: Promise of 90c Fijian from my aunts*. Total of $1Canadian, $1NZ, $0.90c Fijian. Received: $0
*However since we are related, I feel like this is pity money and I have my pride. I'll take it. We are working on making the transaction happen - it's so amazing with all the technology in the world today, how easy it is to transfer money without ever leaving the house. Right now the plan is for them to put the coin in an envelope and post it to me.
Blog Asset Update: One Custom Cat Ramp, 2 Blinds in a box on the floor
Blog Health Update: Arm Tuberculosis with a bit of Cholera. As yet unconfirmed - Rabies. Partial lip removal
Blog Buy/Sell Update:
Sold - one bike, storage containers and a leaking pool.
Bought - I can't say as I'm supposed to be saving my money.
Yet to Sell - one desk. Excellent condition, excellent price**
** Not true.
Blog "Shrimp on the Barbie" Update: 4 requests to throw aforementioned shrimp on the barbie
Difficult Things To Do That Have Been Mastered Update: None.
Blog Friends I have Made Update: One***
***To be confirmed
Blog Level of Fame Attained Update: Level Mum.
Blog Demographic Update: The Google Stats are showing a strong presence in Alaska. Where I know nobody. I'm like "The Hoff" in Germany. But with pants.
Blog Earnings Update: Promise of 90c Fijian from my aunts*. Total of $1Canadian, $1NZ, $0.90c Fijian. Received: $0
*However since we are related, I feel like this is pity money and I have my pride. I'll take it. We are working on making the transaction happen - it's so amazing with all the technology in the world today, how easy it is to transfer money without ever leaving the house. Right now the plan is for them to put the coin in an envelope and post it to me.
Blog Asset Update: One Custom Cat Ramp, 2 Blinds in a box on the floor
Blog Health Update: Arm Tuberculosis with a bit of Cholera. As yet unconfirmed - Rabies. Partial lip removal
Blog Buy/Sell Update:
Sold - one bike, storage containers and a leaking pool.
Bought - I can't say as I'm supposed to be saving my money.
Yet to Sell - one desk. Excellent condition, excellent price**
** Not true.
Blog "Shrimp on the Barbie" Update: 4 requests to throw aforementioned shrimp on the barbie
Difficult Things To Do That Have Been Mastered Update: None.
Blog Friends I have Made Update: One***
***To be confirmed
Blog Level of Fame Attained Update: Level Mum.
Blog Demographic Update: The Google Stats are showing a strong presence in Alaska. Where I know nobody. I'm like "The Hoff" in Germany. But with pants.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)