Trying New Things

I admit to having some issues. Clothes color-coded in my wardrobe. Which is actually normal and very helpful. Separating out M&M's into their color groups which is also completely normal as it's very bad to mix the colors in your stomach. I think it causes tuberculosis.* I also like to match my outfit to my cat - this just makes good fashion sense, thankfully he's not a ginger tabby which would be much harder to match with.

On further reflection, it looks like I don't actually have any issues and am completely normal. Perfect, even.

But in the interests of becoming a better person**, I have a new plan***, every time I feel the need to indulge in any one of my issues, I have to go and do a handstand. Who was expecting that? I was just reminded about handstands in a recent yoga class where I was commended for my excellent form and ability. The instructor asked where I learned my skills - childhood and pole dancing class. He was not expecting that.  So, just as soon as I receive my life alert pendant, I will be solving all my problems with handstands.   Safety first. Although, if things go horribly wrong and while upside down, without my helmet, I land awkwardly, I will have much bigger issues to worry about. Win win, really.

Who's with me?

*Not yet verified. But I think most of you remember my struggle with Tuberculosis from earlier posts and I distinctly recall mixing up my M&M's and eating them right before I got hit with the disease.
**Which is hard when you've just pronounced yourself perfect
***Not my idea but claiming it as mine.  especially if it works.

Treatment for TB

So, earlier today when I was at home, working from home. I went to the supermarket. Something went wrong with the traffic light pattern that I had memorized and I stepped out into the road at the same time as a car. No one was hurt but there was a lot of screeching and cursing. And he was mad too. He said some not very nice insulting things and it hurt my arm. My arm is very sensitive these days. I think it's the tuberculosis. It was 100% someone's fault.

The Doctor* gave me a course of treatment for my arm which I followed to the letter.

*Also, I am calling myself The Doctor now.

Blog Stats Update

I woke up with a little bit of cholera this morning but I'm doing OK. This self-diagnosing on the internet is saving me a lot of doctor's fees.

Blog Earnings Update: Promise of 90c Fijian from my aunts*. Total of $1Canadian, $1NZ, $0.90c Fijian. Received: $0
*However since we are related, I feel like this is pity money and I have my pride. I'll take it. We are working on making the transaction happen - it's so amazing with all the technology in the world today, how easy it is to transfer money without ever leaving the house. Right now the plan is for them to put the coin in an envelope and post it to me.

Blog Asset Update: One Custom Cat Ramp, 2 Blinds in a box on the floor

Blog Health Update: Arm Tuberculosis with a bit of Cholera. As yet unconfirmed - Rabies. Partial lip removal

Blog Buy/Sell Update:
Sold - one bike, storage containers and a leaking pool.
Bought - I can't say as I'm supposed to be saving my money.
Yet to Sell - one desk. Excellent condition, excellent price**
** Not true.

Blog "Shrimp on the Barbie" Update: 4 requests to throw aforementioned shrimp on the barbie

Difficult Things To Do That Have Been Mastered Update: None.

Blog Friends I have Made Update: One***
***To be confirmed

Blog Level of Fame Attained Update: Level Mum.

Blog Demographic Update: The Google Stats are showing a strong presence in Alaska. Where I know nobody. I'm like "The Hoff" in Germany. But with pants.

Self-Diagnosis

Dear Fan,

Sorry I didn't post anything over the weekend. I've got a problem with my arm - pain in the upper arm and wrist when I type or use the computer mouse. Luckily, I was able to save some money by using the Internet to diagnose my issue. Turns out I have Arm Tuberculosis. I think the arm can be saved but it was touch and go for a while. I might have to leave work. That seems to be hurting it the most. Chocolate is helping when applied directly to my mouth. Please send some. I'm typing this with my nose.

Anyway, talk to you soon, Mum.

kxx