Valentine's Day 2015

Valentine's Day this year is looking a little weak on the date, gift and love side. Luckily I have this pleasant reminder from last year to share with you all:

That's right, some guy that I had met once on a business meeting, sent this to me.  And 6 others.  So romantic for the 7 of us...

I know a lot of you are holding off sending me chocolate because of the no-sugar thing but remember, chocolate keeps and I'm going to need to start stockpiling it for the end of the no-sugar siege.  So don't hold back.  Also, flowers have no sugar in them.  You know who you are.*

*I don't know who you are but seemed like a good trick to flush some people out of the woodwork. 

Then There's This Holiday Party...

Your office one. Nothing says Xmas like a pot-luck lunch in the conference room. This year someone brought traditional Xmas empanadas instead of the usual ham. So, that was interesting. Carved myself a lovely slice of empanada. I usually go with the veggie platter which no one eats. This year I went with pie. Which everyone would have eaten if the person that brought the special individually wrapped cookies hadn't tried to one-up me. Christmas is not a competition, people!

So once we've all eaten our meal in relative silence - as a group we get together once a year so you would think there would be more to talk about...

Then let the games begin! Or more accurately, let's do the White Elephant gift exchange. The best part about this? The fighting over the rules. I keep hoping that one year it will end in either a brawl or tears but usually just a lot of raised voices. One can live in hope though...

Our limit is $20 which some people seem to think means $5. Last year someone received a $5 Starbucks gift card. Embarrassingly, they continued to search around in the festive gift bag but to no avail. Sometimes you get a good gift, like the person that received my cheeseboard set complete with slate blackboard plate and chalk so you can write the names of the cheese on it. I tried really hard to get that back but there's a rule that says if someone "steals" it instead of keeping the gift they chose, it can only be stolen twice before it's dead in the water. 

I think it would be a lot more fun if we all opened the gifts we picked, put them in the center of the room and hit an air horn with a free-for-all. I would bite and scratch and I bet I'd come out of it with a lovely cheeseboard set. The problem with this game is that we're a bunch of people who negotiate for a living so you're lucky if you come out of it with anything.

This year I actually did ok, got myself a lovely soft blanket*. Although I started out with chocolate. Which would have been nice to eat under my lovely soft blanket with the candle that the person next to me got, burning in the background. Could not close the deal with them though.

All in all, an awkward end to the year.

*Thank you Harvard School of Negotiation. Yet again, you have paid for yourself.

Easter

Yes, I realize it was a while ago but I've made a point of writing about all the holidays and since I was on a plane for Easter Sunday and America doesn't give me Good Friday off*, I'm just now remembering it. Which is surprising because the additional tummy roll I just discovered is a direct result of the Easter eggs I ate. Don't worry I'm combating it this week with something that you'll hear about next week. I'm starting Lent** after Easter. Seems to make more sense. 

I always buy Easter eggs for my family, they like the different American ones, and because I like to be organized, I got them way ahead of time and planned to post them to New Zealand a week beforehand. I only had to go back to Target for replacements 4 times. Sometimes organizational skills can be detrimental to your diet.

Easter was kind of a big deal in my family - we grew up doing a bunch of the American traditions of dying eggs and Easter egg hunts because my father was American and he brought those things from his childhood. My brother and I had the baskets we still have today, I don't think he uses it anymore. Probably doesn't think he looks very cool hopping around with a green and yellow basket. Probably right. I still do though.

The Easter egg hunt was awesome because I was the oldest of the cousins and I would find most of the eggs first and then beat them to get them to give me theirs. I love Easter. Then we would have a lot of egg sandwiches. Usually one egg didn't get found. Until next year. I let the brother and cousins have that one.

Nowadays because I live so far away, I usually get Amazon gift cards or scratchies for Easter. Pretty big win this year - texted my brother with the results "Tell mum we have a total winnings of $9. Everyone quit their jobs." His response "Invest it. You can live off the interest."

As I told him, good plan - he always had a better head for numbers than me. We had the same math teacher but clearly he understood more than me.

So that was Easter. For the next week, I'm accepting Easter eggs as payment so don't hold back.

*I'm at the mercy of "The Man". He doesn't want me to eat chocolate. Fascist. Chocolate fascist.  Easter bunny hater.
**Am not entirely sure what this is but think I am unable to eat or use Facebook.

A Mathematical Equation

You know how there are those equations where you take a number, do mathematical stuff to it and it always works out? Like this: Think of a number. Double it. Add six. Half it. Take away the number you started with. The answer is always 3.
 
I have one of those. But it's a little more advanced. Don't feel bad if you have to use a calculator.

Take your age - subtract 2. Add 2. That is your age.

It works every time too. 
 

This is actually true.  I have eaten a lot of chocolate and I can count 15 pieces in the picture.

Self-Diagnosis

Dear Fan,

Sorry I didn't post anything over the weekend. I've got a problem with my arm - pain in the upper arm and wrist when I type or use the computer mouse. Luckily, I was able to save some money by using the Internet to diagnose my issue. Turns out I have Arm Tuberculosis. I think the arm can be saved but it was touch and go for a while. I might have to leave work. That seems to be hurting it the most. Chocolate is helping when applied directly to my mouth. Please send some. I'm typing this with my nose.

Anyway, talk to you soon, Mum.

kxx