My Imaginary World...

Most of the time I live in the real world but on occasion, all the time, I live in my world. Which is imaginary and I always win. Also, I am beautiful, talented, sporty and my repartee is unparalleled. Sometimes I even give myself super tough nicknames like Rock, Ice, Sloan...and Steve.

I have imaginary competitions with girls that are trying to steal my imaginary boyfriends and we face off on various tasks and I am supremely good at all of them. And I have super cool speeches and comebacks and I always finish with "In your face, bitch". And I never run away and hide like I would if I did that in real life.  Also, these girls are having a bad day with bloat.  I am not.  Did I mention that my hair is super shiny?

Turns out I am awesome at hiphop dance-offs, parachuting*, pole dancing**, karate***, chess and high wire acrobatics.  Which is good because no one ever wants to battle me in my real world accomplishments.  Like Scrabble.  Which is a shame because (A) I am very good and (B) I have some pretty harsh "Yo Momma" scrabble disses****.  Also, my ability to...actually Scrabble was it.

Thanks to my friend, Pharnell Phyler***** for suggesting I write about this.  And for not laughing at my imaginary imaginings.  Much. 

*Even when the chute doesn't open because the imaginary girl who is trying to steal my imaginary boyfriends sabotaged me
**I do at least know the moves.  I just can't do all of them in the real world. 
***Pronounced the way Ross said it in "Friends".  Who knows what I'm talking about?
****I have no clue what I am saying..."Yo Momma so bad at Scrabble she thinks asdkljalsdqnweryuzsf is a word".   55 points.  Nice one, Momma.  
*****Anyone that thinks that is his real name will have to fight me in my imaginary world.  We will use nunchucks for that is the weapon to fight stupidity with.