I Work Out

So, for those that don't know - I have a trainer, well actually I have two. They tag team the torture. My trainer or coach as he prefers to be called runs All Out Effort. I've spent a lot of time molding them into doing things my way. I now have a very positive mindset when I train.

An AOE workout

1. Set appointment with Sam (Coach and Owner)
2. Negotiate time that is not ridiculous o’clock in the morning
3. Agree to ridiculous o’clock time in the morning
4. Dread all week
5. Alarm goes off. Weep softly. Get up and vow not to do this again
6. Arrive in middle of night - read sign on entrance regarding negative thoughts and leaving them there at the door
7. Punch sign in its stupid positive face
8. Come in and grunt greetings at other poor souls
9. Start foot stretches on rocks and tennis balls. Complete and tell Sam you think that’s enough for one day
10. Apparently he does not
11. Continue with workout. Against better judgment
12. Start foam roll routine and remind self that this is painful but doesn’t compare with what’s to come. Rest head gently on foam roller, just for a minute. Get caught…
13. Start Mobility exercises: roll around on floor, trying to look mobile. Ask for help up off floor.
14. Choose one of the lesser of three evils: Treadmill, Climber, Bike. Choose lying on floor for quick disco nap. Get up off floor after being told that is not an option.
15. Start workout: swings (recommend that everyone ducks, those kettlebells have a habit of leaving my hand. Mostly because I let go of them.  On purpose), planks (the exercise that everyone thinks they look good doing. And don’t), rolly ball ab agony things (I think you know what I mean), squats (where once you get down there, going up is not all it's cracked up to be) and everyone’s favorite, stupid burpees (right?). Wonder how I can possibly go on...
16. Put $1 in "Whine Bucket".  Protest about legitimacy of whine.  Put another $1 in.  
17. Hear those precious words: You can stretch now.
18. Consider the alternative: work-out with Cindy (Coach 2). Decide to leave that for another day. Called never.

Underground Gym

Remember when I lived in that other place before I was forced to move? Well, I decided I needed to save some money so I put in an underground gym – it’s underground cos it was in my basement and it’s underground because it’s a cool secret place that only cool people know about. Get it? Except that now I’ve put it out here and I can’t guarantee that everyone reading this is cool so now uncool people might also know about it. But they don’t know the secret knock and it’s invite only to keep the riff raff out. First rule of Underground Gym is no one talks about Underground Gym.  Except me. 

It’s pretty sweet to come home, put on your workout gear and head down underground to your own underground gym every day. Well, at least 4 times a week. Definitely, that one time I went down there. For sure. Sweet.

However, now that I have this new place with no basement, I have an Above Ground Cupboard. It’s a little less open and I don’t have full range of movement but probably just takes some getting used to?

 

I had a whole membership plan designed for the Underground Gym- BYO towels, weights, yoga mat, treadmill but I'm revising now with the smaller space in mind.  Probably not going to offer lockers.  Hit me up if you want to reserve a spot for Aqua Aerobics on Tuesdays at Above Ground Cupboard.  BYO pool.