Well...For Goodness Sake

I didn't write anything last night because for the last two weeks, my page views have gone down from the 100's to almost nothing and I got the pip. Yes, this is me being vindictive. So then I get to work and find that 40 people have viewed me before 8am. I mean I know I had to get up at 5am for stupid boot camp but what's your excuse, person from Guadeloupe? And where is that?

So now I'm feeling guilty and have to scramble to write something. Does everyone agree that the paragraph above is sufficient? Good, then let's move on.  A little more consistency, please people.  And donations.  Which almost sounds like donuts.  Which I will also take.

On another note, I had an interesting phone conversation with someone at work that I've never spoken to before.  We had a phone meeting scheduled and as soon as I started to talk, I could tell that my accent had thrown them for a loop.  Or it's possible they weren't understanding what I was saying about technology.  I mean I Googled it but I was bit shaky on the details and legitimacy of my points.  Pressed on anyway, say anything with conviction and a foreign accent and people will buy it.

Them: Are you from Australia?
Me: No, the other one
Them: Oh, South Africa.
Me: No, the other other one.
Them: Ahh, got it.  England.
Me: No, the other other other one that is apparently a big secret and yet to be discovered.
Them: You don't sound Irish to me, is it Wales?
Me: Yes.  Sigh...

Public Holiday's Around the World...Today

Today is Martin Luther King Day here in the States. Which is important for many reasons as we all know. Also, since I want to treat all my readers equally, I am celebrating that it is Wellington Anniversary Day in New Zealand, for my 2 followers in Azerbaijan, happy "Martyr's Day" also known as "Day of National Mourning"*. For those readers in Idaho - enjoy "Idaho Human Right's Day".** And in Mali, let's raise a hand for Armed Forces Day and Baptism of the Prophet***. Finally, three cheers for Tuesday in Australia.

Since this is a public holiday today, technically I should have a day off from writing but I am pushing on through, even though it means I will have to walk 5 miles in the snow without shoes and a heavy pack of stones on my back.****

*Unsure if one should wish this to be "happy". Possibly one should wish for "sorry people sacrificed themselves and are now martyrs"?
**Let's hope they extend the same courtesy to the potato.
***It's a 2 for 1 day in Mali. They have a lot of public holidays so they're doubling up with the ones that just seem to go together...
****No martyrs here. No snow either but walking in sunshine makes it difficult to sound like a hardship. Also...Walking in Sunshine is a joyful song...

A Handful Of the Conversations I Regularly Have...

This is probably going to offend some people. And by people I mean Americans. Which means my readership may drop back down to 3. So, I'm going to need the New Zealander's to step it up a bit until I can get the Americans back. What do you say we all pick on the Aussies tomorrow?

Stupid person: Are you from Australia?
Me: No, New Zealand
Stupid Person: Yeah, I thought I recognized the accent
Me: Probably right after I told you

Different stupid person: Where are you from?
Me: New Zealand
Still stupid person but still different one: Oh cool, that’s next to Sweden, right?
Me: No, that’s Norway.

Blind drunk stupid person: Have you seen a hobbit?
Me: Yes.

Stupid Person: Do you eat turkey for Thanksgiving in New Zealand or something else?
Me: The Mayflower didn't make it to us, so...

Stupid Person: Are you going home to New Zealand for the weekend?
Me: Yes. I have a time travel portal
Stupid Person: Really?
Me: No.

Stupid Person: Has anyone ever said "throw another shrimp on the barbie" to you?
Me: No - that's so original. Did you think of that by yourself? 

Culturally Unaware person: Why do New Zealander's call themselves a fruit?
Me: The nickname comes from a bird called the Kiwi
Culturally Unaware person: Have you eaten a Kiwi
Me: Yes, it was roasting next to the shrimp on the barbie
Culturally Unaware person: Does it taste like chicken?