Annoying Situation #587

When I'm not having Awkward Moments, I'm having Annoying Situations. For years I have accommodated the cat when choosing where to live - paying higher rent and cat deposits, making sure there was some way I could buy an expensive cat door, create an elaborate ramp, rig a bucket (long story - see previous post) and always live on the ground floor. All so Albert can be an indoor/outdoor cat.

Just one of the many conveniences I've created for Albert...

But this time was different, I got such a good deal on the apartment that I couldn't afford to turn it down and Albert was just going to have to be an indoor cat. After all, he's almost 10, slowing down a bit and to be honest, sleeps most of the time so figured it was time to put myself first. Wrong. After two nights of howling to go out (even though he didn't know what was out there and is a big scaredy cat) and not for toiletry purposes since I have thoughtfully provided him with a litter box in the bathroom which is right in the middle of everything and highly inconvenient, not to mention that even after multiple lessons on how to wipe ones' feet, there is still kitty litter everywhere*, I have come up with a solution.

Around the litter box is the only available floor space left in the bathroom.  About 100 steps shy of ideal...

Once again, I find myself pandering to the cat - I bought him a step ladder. 

So, what you can't see is the stool inside so he can hop up, he then squeezes himself through the bars (before I bought the stool, we had a practice session where I shoved him through multiple gaps to see if he needed to go on a diet) and jumps down avoiding the step-ladder altogether.  Since he can't jump up and squeeze back through the bars in one fluid motion - although did not consider the alternative of oiling him up - and the ledge isn't wide enough to give him time to position the entry correctly, he has to come up the step ladder.  The step ladder needs to be padlocked to the iron bars because apparently anything not locked down will get stolen.  Unfortunately, the lock I bought doesn't actually open so will be making another trip back today to return it and get a new one.  Sigh...at least when he got back from having his fight (see below), he was ecstatic and rejuvenated so I guess I made him happy.

Pros

1. No more howling at night unless of course something else comes up.  Lets call this, temporary howling relief
2.  No more litter box.  Unless of course he decides to use the floor instead of going out.
3. No more restless, pacing the floor, sad eyes, longingly looking outside cat.  Until he gets bored of outside.

Cons:

1. Despite me coming up with a solution and making a special trip to Target to get it set up for last night, he sat there and just looked at me.  Until 3am when he went outside, had a fight** with another cat and came in with wet patches all over him.  I live in LA, so it was not raining. It was not blood.  Suspect that the other cat, held him down and licked him - this is either a new cat fighting style that I'm not familiar with, some random cat was passing by and thought he looked dirty or a female feline took a fancy to a one-eyed pirate cat.

*Off topic but I just ordered a new, super light vacuum cleaner that I am so excited about. Am somewhat concerned about the level of excitement since it's on a par with cake and I'm not sure what this says about me.
**Fight was loud enough to wake both me and my neighbors upstairs - was not UFC style, definitely street fighting and a lot of cussing.

How A Bucket Stops A Cat From Pooping Indoors

When I have a problem, I quickly admit defeat and wait for someone to fix it. And no one does so then I have to. And while conceptually my ideas are great, the execution and the practicality of them have varying results.  Varying from bad to terrible.

For the last couple of months since it got really hot, Albert has taken to randomly doing his business in the hallway. And no amount of questioning will get me any answers. So, I did a little detective work. Which didn't help. At first I thought it was because he was too scared to go outside on garbage collection day. An unwelcome surprise the following day disproved that theory. Then I thought he was too scared to go out his little window on the day the gardeners came. Once again, I was proved wrong.

But I think I've cracked it. Right after I stood in it. Directly above the cat window is the upstairs neighbors' air conditioning unit. Once it started to get hotter, they turned it on and since the guy works from home, it's on for most of the day. And it drips. Onto Albert's carpeted platform where he enters and exits. And I think, my precious has gotten a little bit precious about getting his paws and butt wet. Never mind that he happily frolics in the rain, god forbid he should have to step on sodden carpeting for mere seconds. I want to use a phrase right now that rhymes with "whittle shucker".

My first attempt to fix the problem was to put a container out there - unfortunately the drips come down directly above the cat window so that then means he can't come and go.So, I spent a lot of time at work thinking about the problem, sketching solutions and doing some extensive measurements and calculations.*

So I've come up with a homemade solution, that is a brilliant example of the well-known phenomenon "kiwi ingenuity".

That's right, I wired a bucket to the mosquito screen so that it's above the cat door and below the air conditioner.  Am currently waiting for them to turn on AC so I can see if it catches the drops and the carpet below stays dry...yes, my cat has carpet on his outdoor ladder.  Why?

It's quite a long way below the A/C but since my other thought was to somehow have it evaporate before it hit the ground and science has yet to catch up with my brain and invent something, I think this will have to do.

 I am aware there are flaws - like having to take my stool** outside so I can reach up and untie the bucket to empty it.  Also there is a very high potential that the weight of the water will rip the screen out of the window before I can get to it to empty.  

Therefore, I am offering a reward to anyone who can come up with a better solution.  Your prize: a well-trained house broken(ish) one-eyed cat. 

*Not actually true. I just said fuck a lot.
**Pun intended