Showing posts with label Burrito. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Burrito. Show all posts

Thursday, April 17, 2014

A Day At The Beach

On Tuesday I played hooky* and went to the beach - Huntington Beach. It has some of the best surf** in SoCal and it was packed. I didn't want to get in the way so I stayed on shore. No point showing off my skills. Just makes people feel bad.
Surfers - looking an awful lot like shark fins.

So I wandered around the shops, had a beer, a burrito, made friends with the guy making flax roses and then got myself a nice red tan sitting on the beach. That tan will fade to brown in a week, shame about the shape of my necklace burnt into my skin. Still, no need for necklaces for the next couple of weeks.
This is the rose that the guy on the pier made me. He was in the army for 15 years. It was free but I gave him a pretty big tip because I'm pretty sure he can kill me 5 different ways with this rose.

Pretty nice place, this Huntington beach. A little busy and why are there so many teenage kids hanging out? If the truancy officers got bonuses for turning kids in, they'd have a field day there at the beach. Thought about faking being a truancy officer and getting the kids to pay me bribes but then my sense of right and wrong kicked in. It would be wrong to waste all my energy walking around so I sat back down.

Anyway, I've decided to build a shack under the pier, make wind chimes out of old cutlery*** and retire there. Tomorrow.


*And by hooky I mean, I scheduled a day off 3 weeks in advance. I'm very responsible but "hooky" makes me sound devil-may-care which is a new image I am working on cultivating. I have a spreadsheet listing out all the steps. So far I think I'm still coming off a little "devil-do-care" but that's because I haven't reached step 4 yet.
**I know this because there is a sign. Not because I was in the surf. 10cm waves are a little high to be going out in, methinks. Also I have started saying "methinks" to everything. Doesn't always work but methinks me sounds cool. And a bit Victorian.
***Don't want to encroach on Army guy's territory. He could easily kill me with one of my cutlery mobiles if I stole his clientele. Actually rethinking mobiles with sharp, pointy things in general. Doesn't really matter, just has to look handmade (check) and be useless (check).

Monday, December 23, 2013

It's The Day Before The Day Before Xmas!

I'm on a boat. Sailing to Mexico. I am very international. I'm going to come back with the following:
  1. A tan
  2. A complete grasp of the Spanish Language
  3. A Xmas belly
  4. My own personal pinata, filled with chocolate, diamonds and a car.
  5. Bootleg Tequila*.
  6. A baby
  7. A baby burrito
  8. A zacahuil** - just going to pop it in my suitcase***
  9. Chihuahua's from Chihuahua for everyone of my friends. Going to ask for bulk discount. Then pop them in the post.
  10. A contract to be a cabaret singer on a cruise ship.****
*Or I might just buy some. I don't want to get arrested in Mexico. They're very threatened by New Zealand so I probably wouldn't last long in prison. Also, I don't know where to get bootleg tequila, I'm not sure of the quality and it just seems easier to buy it...also I don't like it.
**A Mexican tamale, three feet long and weighing about 150 pounds. I might get a dozen.
***Same with the baby. Burrito goes in my handbag for easy access.
****Let's be realistic. The other things probably aren't going to happen.