Doing My Taxes

...or more accurately, not doing my taxes. You know when you sell some of your hard-won stock to pay off your student loan and you don't remember if tax was withheld because you don't really know what that means and you have a financial adviser and you think he should just fix everything? Well, that didn't happen to me, that happened to a "friend". Who looks like me. Lets call her Chelsea Handler* So now my friend, Chelsea can't seem to do her own taxes and needs an accountant. Which sounds expensive.

Chelsea has plans for that tax refund that are starting to look a lot like more of a payment than a refund. Now how will she:

• Quit her job and go to Design School for Designing Stuff
• Open that bar in Mexico
• Retire
• Pay for surfing lessons for the whole family in Hawaii - not you, Albert
• Buy more shoes.  Chelsea has a shortage of shoes**
• Buy a pony***
• Get wings tattooed all over her back 
• Save the children at the orphanage**** 
• Have a birthday party at Disneyland.

Next year I'm not going to do taxes.  Neither is Chelsea.  We're making a stand against the IRS.  Pretty sure we're going to win. 

*See previous posts. Or alternatively, start reading previous posts.
**As long as shortage means less than 200
***What?  Who doesn't want a pony.  And if you've read previous posts, you will know that I can ride very proficiently.
****Chelsea is very philanthropic.  As long as it does not interfere with shoe acquisition 

Not Chelsea Handler

Don't even look like her other than we both have blond hair. But have been asked once in New York if I was her. To which I replied (in my New Zealand accent), yes. The fan seemed satisfied that she had seen a celebrity. I waved at her like the Pope and continued buying my lunch.

The other time was when I was walking into work - I walked past the studio where they film Chelsea Lately and there is an enormous poster of her. As I was walking, one of the Studio Tour trams came by and the announcer announced that there was Chelsea Handler standing outside her studio. A lot of people have a lot of pictures of not Chelsea Handler. I am in a lot of stranger's photos. This time I waved like a princess. 

Chelsea Handler.  Poses like a professional.

Not Chelsea Handler.  Looks dazed and confused.