Thursday, March 6, 2014

Doing My Taxes

...or more accurately, not doing my taxes. You know when you sell some of your hard-won stock to pay off your student loan and you don't remember if tax was withheld because you don't really know what that means and you have a financial adviser and you think he should just fix everything? Well, that didn't happen to me, that happened to a "friend". Who looks like me. Lets call her Chelsea Handler* So now my friend, Chelsea can't seem to do her own taxes and needs an accountant. Which sounds expensive.

Chelsea has plans for that tax refund that are starting to look a lot like more of a payment than a refund. Now how will she:

  • Quit her job and go to Design School for Designing Stuff
  • Open that bar in Mexico
  • Retire
  • Pay for surfing lessons for the whole family in Hawaii - not you, Albert
  • Buy more shoes.  Chelsea has a shortage of shoes**
  • Buy a pony***
  • Get wings tattooed all over her back 
  • Save the children at the orphanage**** 
  • Have a birthday party at Disneyland.
Next year I'm not going to do taxes.  Neither is Chelsea.  We're making a stand against the IRS.  Pretty sure we're going to win. 

*See previous posts. Or alternatively, start reading previous posts.
**As long as shortage means less than 200
***What?  Who doesn't want a pony.  And if you've read previous posts, you will know that I can ride very proficiently.
****Chelsea is very philanthropic.  As long as it does not interfere with shoe acquisition 

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