Yoga - An Update

I now go to the world's best yoga studio - Yoga at the Raven. I'm kind of like one of those beautiful yoga people you see always walking around with their mats in their beautiful outfits and long flowing hair. Am just missing beautiful outfit and long flowing hair. Got the mat though. For those that didn't read my previous yoga post, I have just now figured out how I can link past posts and make you read or reread it. Actually very simple but we all have our challenges - only took 144 posts to make this happen. Am going to work this in to every post from now on. This is really going to up my page views. Please up my page views. 

Am still very much a beginner and have yet to master:

• Unrolling my mat and keeping it unrolled - slippery little bugger.  I go to sit down and all of a sudden it's behind me and I'm on the floor.  I just act cool and yoga-like.  So far only everyone has noticed. 
• Breathing - you know I really think my parents are to blame for this.  A little more attention to my breathing growing up and I would be able to slide into ahnsnsjajajhs* no problem.  Breathing is supposed to help you achieve some of the most difficult poses.  Just breathe and lift your body off the floor, piking up into a handstand, they said.  I breathed.  Then some more.  Little finger moved.  I'm going to call that "nailed it'.
• Chanting - so when we start, we begin with one or more "oms".  I feel like I have to confess something.  I can't make it through a single om.  My breath just runs out (see above for reasons why.  My parents).  So I do a sneaky double breath and jump right back in there.  I double om a single om.  Take that, om.  This past weekend I went to a different instructor and she was full on chanting, scared the crap out of me because my eyes were closed and I was just waiting for my om.  She was pretty amazing and then when she finished a series of words, everyone in the class repeated them with the same intonations and cadence.  Everyone except one.  Not me.  This other person.  Who was a statue.  I tried, I really did but part way through I would forget the words and have to do a little "boopity bop, itsy bitsy spider ramalamadingdong" and hope that no one noticed.  I cracked an eye open at one point and no one seemed to have noticed my variation.  Then I opened my eye again to see if anyone had noticed that my eye was open**.  I considered a drum solo but didn't want anyone to notice my lack of rhythm.  Hard to believe that you can be out of tune while chanting but again "nailed it."
• All poses - sometimes there are a lot of us as it's very popular and we're stacked up side by side which makes me nervous because I like to stay in my little spot at the back corner.  With the statue that has spiky prongs on it that sometimes attack you.  I always try and bow to it first to ward off potential attacks but sometimes I think it takes issue with my style.  Anyway, one wrong move in tree pose*** and you will knock the whole row down like a domino effect.  Tempting I know and if I hadn't had experience up the mountain taking out a bunch of ski school youngsters all lined up, I might try it.  Kids bounce, not sure about yogis.  

Thinking of having this made since I am so good.

Out of a possible 40. 

 I do have a couple of pointers:

•  No moisturizer.   You will transition way too quickly from Downward Dog to Flat on the Mat.   On the other hand it might make it easier to slide your leg behind your head.  Not for me but that's because my head is too big and I get a yogi pass**** on that one.
• A towel - I did not know I was going to sweat in yoga.   I thought I was going to lay down on a mat and then feel world peace.  Which I do but first I have to work hard and sweat.  Some of the guys take their shirts off.  I don't.  But I watch them to make sure they do it right.
• Corpse pose or Shavasana (I thought the English name was "Nap on a Mat" but my Sanskrit is off) comes very naturally to me. It's important to lie there like you are dead and not move.  I never completely relax though in case I fall asleep and wake up to a chalk outline. Also, watch your snoring.  If you interrupt my corpse posing, I will hit you with my block.

Not a yoga mat...

*I don't know what this is but I believe it's very difficult.  Also, not a pose. 
**Also to make sure no one was cheating and had their eyes open.  All good. 
***Check me out, name dropping my poses 
****Also I have now invented a new thing called Yogi Passes.  For when I can't do something.  A yogi pass strongly resembles cake but it's very different