It's been a while since I updated you on all the stats in my life and I've received many requests* for this information so for all of you** who wrote in, here you go.
New Readers: 0
Existing Readers: 2
Existing Readers that are cats: 1
Existing readers that are not cats: Me.
Amount of Money I have made from this blog: $7.48
Amount of Money I have donated to this blog: $7.44
Price of Subscription I am thinking of charging: $1 million***
Subscription cost for one cat: $1 million. Cat has expensive tastes. And no money. Or pockets. Or trousers. Can someone buy my cat some trousers so he has pockets to put his million dollars in so he can buy a subscription to my blog?
Religious requests to shut down my blog because of apparently subversive messages: 1
Response to the above: Very rude.
No. of compliments I have had on my hair: Very few.
Dates I have been on: 12****
No. of times I have mentioned "cake" on my blog: 54
No. of times I have eaten cake while simultaneously mentioning it on my blog: Whatever I write here will be a lie. Let's just move on.
New hobbies I have taken up: 7
Lies I have told about new hobbies I have taken up: 7
Mirrors I have knocked off the side of my car: I don't want to talk about it
*Actually none.
**Which was none of you. I mean does no one care about whether my Tupperware has all it's matching lids? There's some very cold people out there.
***Can't remember how many zeroes so had to write it out. Abacus is on the fritz.
****And by 12, I mean zero.
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