Doing A Deal Using My Harvard Negotiation Experience

Now that I have all this Harvard knowledge, I'm putting it to good use at work. For instance, just the other day, one of my business partners contacted me and said he had a software renewal that he needed done.

Me: So are any terms changing (brilliant opener - totally channeling Harvard)
Business Partner: Yes, I want to pay a lot less money and I want to be able to get out of the contract just because I feel like it.
Me: Got it - let me reach out to the Vendor and I'll get back to you (excellent empathy and showing good understanding of the deal terms)

Me: Hi - we want to renew this deal but we want it for less money and we want the ability to cancel for no reason whatsoever at any time e.g. It's Thursday (clear outline of the terms and a firm tone of voice to show that we will not budge)
Vendor: No.

So, that went well.

Last Day At Harvard

Here is what I learned:

1. Harvard thinks breakfast is the most important meal of the day judging by all the food. But they left off bacon. So really, how smart are they?
2. There are a lot of people from all over the world here.  Only three of us negotiate for a living.  So we're pretty much genius level. Which is sad. Because two out of three of us are idiots. Not me. At least I don't think so - just guessing. Also have not met them.
3. I'm getting a certificate! That's going straight to the pool room (which in my small apartment is also called the living room)
4. Harvard students might be smart but they look just regular. Also when I tried to infiltrate, I got caught pretty quick. Apparently I no longer look like a student anymore.  Either that or I look stupid. Am unclear on whether I want it to be old or stupid. Contrary to what I learned, not everything is a win-win situation. 
5. I can't find the top sheet in my bed. I think they do things differently in Boston. Probably a time zone thing
6. You cannot ask for clam chowder, hold the clams. Otherwise it's a bowl of white sauce. And they think you're an idiot. Apparently they don't know about you attending Harvard. Will consider making sign or badge. 
7. Watching people work out in the hotel gym from your room is the same as you working out. But less sweaty. And not so tiring. Quite relaxing really. I see why people use exercise to unwind. 
8. I have a short span of attention and require regular snack breaks. From which I don't like to come back from. 
9. Emotions are inevitable in negotiations. So I will no longer feel bad about using crying as a guilt mechanism to get what I want. Harvard said I can. Sort of. Reading between the lines...
10. When the man from Nigeria (wearing a wedding ring) asked me what I was doing for dinner, looked me up and down then asked what my room number is, I was right to lie.  Sorry room 611. Also, sorry about the German social worked that might also be showing up...

Day 2 - Harvard Law School Negotiation Seminar

Pretty much nailing Harvard. It's like Golf - so easy. Also, if you need to buy a house or car, take me with you. I will negotiate the shit out of that. But I don't like confrontation. So if it doesn't go well and they get mad, you're on your own.

Things That Are Coming Up.

You should feel very lucky - I have a surfing lesson on Sunday so that should ensure an endless number of blog posts about how good I am at it. Or not. But I find that hard to believe, what with being born in Hawaii and all. Pretty sure surfing is like golf, super easy to pick up the first time. The hardest part is going to be getting into the wetsuit - I can't decide whether to get all greased up first so I slide on in or try the powder method. Either way, whether I look greasy or covered in white powder, it's not going to be attractive.

Then there's the end of October* where I will be going to Harvard for a negotiation course. You know how you tell your mother you got accepted to Harvard and it kind of gets blown out of proportion when she's telling her friends at coffee, when the reality is your company paid Harvard to take you. It's a 3 day course at the end of which, there will be no degree from Harvard but I have high hopes for one of those sweatshirts...the best part about this is that I get to go to Boston and Cambridge which were on my sub-bucket list**.

But wait, there's more - I'm also tagging a trip to Chicago on the end of my Harvard education. Never been, was on the sub-bucket list but even better, I'm going to watch the New Zealand All Blacks play rugby***. Which is on the main bucket list. Sounds like quite a few Kiwis are going - I'm going to be friends with all of them. I hope someone will bring mince n cheese pies.

You don't know about this, America but there is nothing better than a meat pie when you're walking home after a night on the turps.  Just stop by your local servo (gas station), get a pie out of the warmer. Blow on it first for goodness sake.

If you don't know about blowing on the pie, you're liable to get seriously hurt...

*I know, not exactly soon but there seem to be some gaps in my social calendar.
**You know, a list of places to go and things to do that are not exactly top priority but are achievable as opposed to the things on your bucket list like visiting the moon.  That way you can die happy knowing you completed your bucket list.  No one needs to know it was the sub-bucket.  Except the people that read your blog and that person might die before you.  So, you're good.
***Against the US Eagles.  Which is not really playing Rugby - it's schooling America...