The Deep Dish* On Chicago

*Get it? I made a pizza joke. An ironical pizza joke. Nothing? I made a funny. Wow. Tough crowd.

If you have been following along, you'll know that the final stage of my trip was Chicago for the slaughtering of the USA Eagles rugby team by the New Zealand All Blacks. I don't want to dwell on this too much. But I will. It was a disaster for America. A tiny nation nailed you to the wall. Personally, I'm a little mortified that we let you score 6 points. But then we scored 74 so I felt better. Even better than us kicking arse (well equally as good), I got to hang out with a friend and made her deny her American-ness so she could be on our side. I was surrounded by Kiwis which only ever happens to me in New Zealand and I made friends. I just don't remember them. 

That's not the sun behind me.  It's more of a halo...the halo of winners

But this is about Chicago. I would post pictures but you can't see anything because it's TOO DAMN COLD. That's right, cold affects pictures** so I took some mental ones. Damn, I look good. In my new gloves. How do people live in this? No one*** looks good (except me) because you're all bundled up in layers - you have to wear flats because you don't want to fall over in the snow and then once you get inside, you start baking. So you start to take layers off and then you reach that one layer that shouldn't be shown in public, that you thought you wouldn't get down to. So you have to try and replace that layer with a layer you took off and now you have dislocated your shoulder. Chicago is dangerous.

The Magnificent Mile looked impressive, I hit a Magnificent Meter of it.  I got side-tracked with warm cafes.  I should probably go back in the Summer.  Summer is more my thing. 

I did experience some of the Mid-West hospitality. From New Zealanders. This very nice man bought me my Shepherd's Pie. I met up with a school friend that I hadn't seen since high school. On second thought, no big deal cos that was only a couple of years ago. He also bought my dinner. Then this other guy bought me a drink and paid for my taxi back to my hotel. I basically spent no money in Chicago. It's true, the people there are very nice. And generous.

**I took a great picture of the Wrigley Tower, leaning back to get all of it in. What I got was hot tea in my face. I forgot I was holding my cup. See what the cold does to you?
***I did see a couple of girls who thought it more important to wear a mini dress with no sleeves and no coat. When you take warmth over looks, it's a sign that you're getting older. And sensibler.

And On To The Next...

Today I'm in Chicago. I'm told Chicagoans and Mid-Westerners are extremely friendly. I just smiled at someone and they did not smile back. Clearly this is a myth.

Luckily I am here for the Rugby and so is the rest of New Zealand.  They have to be friendly to me, I am one of them.  Yay, us.  Sorry, America, you're about to go down...

Things That Are Coming Up.

You should feel very lucky - I have a surfing lesson on Sunday so that should ensure an endless number of blog posts about how good I am at it. Or not. But I find that hard to believe, what with being born in Hawaii and all. Pretty sure surfing is like golf, super easy to pick up the first time. The hardest part is going to be getting into the wetsuit - I can't decide whether to get all greased up first so I slide on in or try the powder method. Either way, whether I look greasy or covered in white powder, it's not going to be attractive.

Then there's the end of October* where I will be going to Harvard for a negotiation course. You know how you tell your mother you got accepted to Harvard and it kind of gets blown out of proportion when she's telling her friends at coffee, when the reality is your company paid Harvard to take you. It's a 3 day course at the end of which, there will be no degree from Harvard but I have high hopes for one of those sweatshirts...the best part about this is that I get to go to Boston and Cambridge which were on my sub-bucket list**.

But wait, there's more - I'm also tagging a trip to Chicago on the end of my Harvard education. Never been, was on the sub-bucket list but even better, I'm going to watch the New Zealand All Blacks play rugby***. Which is on the main bucket list. Sounds like quite a few Kiwis are going - I'm going to be friends with all of them. I hope someone will bring mince n cheese pies.

You don't know about this, America but there is nothing better than a meat pie when you're walking home after a night on the turps.  Just stop by your local servo (gas station), get a pie out of the warmer. Blow on it first for goodness sake.

If you don't know about blowing on the pie, you're liable to get seriously hurt...

*I know, not exactly soon but there seem to be some gaps in my social calendar.
**You know, a list of places to go and things to do that are not exactly top priority but are achievable as opposed to the things on your bucket list like visiting the moon.  That way you can die happy knowing you completed your bucket list.  No one needs to know it was the sub-bucket.  Except the people that read your blog and that person might die before you.  So, you're good.
***Against the US Eagles.  Which is not really playing Rugby - it's schooling America...

Things You Don't Know About Rugby

In light of the recent Rugby 7's competition, I thought I would explain a few things for those who aren't as familiar with Rugby and particularly my thoughts on it. Which are useless...

• I play better than you might think*
• I played Hooker** at University.
• Rugby players are more handsome than NFL players. Except for the ears. The Americans might have something with that helmet thing.

Mmm cauliflower.


Has anyone seen my...never mind, I found them.

• New Zealand is the best at Rugby. Even when we lose. Still the best. Not open for debate.
• The New Zealand team is known as the All Blacks - this is not a racist term, America, as many have suggested to me. We*** wear "all black" uniforms.
• There is no crying in Rugby.
• This one time I offered face painting at a rugby match. This guy wanted a silver fern.

Like this


I think it came out well. Add this to the list of things I am good at...

• Hot chips with tomato sauce and a sausage on a stick are really what rugby is all about. 
•  This is also what it's all about.  I put down my sausage on a stick for this...

 

 I don't know why America calls it Football - mostly it's in their hands. This is something I don't know that I'm just throwing in there. Cos I can't think of much else that I know about rugby...

*No, I don’t. I’m terrible.
**There is nothing you can say about this that I haven’t already heard. I was a damn fine hooker. The only time I touched the ball was when I threw it in which was a face-saving measure. Literally. I wanted to save my face from being mashed in. My career was short-lived. I looked really good in my rugby jersey. Which was the main reason for playing. Our team was really good at celebrating. Our losses.
***Also I am calling myself an All Black now...

An Open Invitation To My House For Thanksgiving/Rugby

Dear all of my friends*,

As most of you don't know, NZ is playing Ireland on November 25th which is close enough to Thanksgiving for me to combine the two. Since it's being played in Dublin, it's probably at some horrific hour but there's that whole time difference thing which is like long division and who can understand that? I asked for them to play around 9amish but it seems I no longer have the power to (a) convince New Zealand to play at a time more convenient to me or (b) reverse the world's time zones. I'm like Harry Potter but without magic. Or a wand. Or an owl. Or a broomstick**. Or an invisible cloak. Actually, it turns out, I'm not like him at all. That was a poor example.
Normally, I would have come up with some fancy invite but I forgot that I'm not a graphic designer. So I got out my stick and dirt. Drew a cool invite with my stick in the dirt but I can't figure out how to get it on my computer. If you want to come over, can you come look at my dirt invite? I'm going to need you to RSVP in the dirt.

I will make a full Thanksgiving dinner, provide you with beer and wine and sophisticated party snacks. I will also be making and decorating little rugby ball cookies. But if you show up and there aren't any cookies, just know that in my head they were delicious.

This is what I want them to look like.

If I'm lucky, they'll look like this

So, I think that went well,

You might want to bring a cushion or a chair as I have a three seater couch. If only 2 people show up, we will be fine. A little awkward perhaps, sitting side by side, staring straight ahead. Also, don't touch my stuff.

Hope to see you***,

K

*Hi Mum.
**Actually I have a broomstick but when I command it to fly, it just falls limply to the ground. So we just sweep instead.
***Not true. Also I have changed my mind about doing this.