Last Day At Harvard

Here is what I learned:

1. Harvard thinks breakfast is the most important meal of the day judging by all the food. But they left off bacon. So really, how smart are they?
2. There are a lot of people from all over the world here.  Only three of us negotiate for a living.  So we're pretty much genius level. Which is sad. Because two out of three of us are idiots. Not me. At least I don't think so - just guessing. Also have not met them.
3. I'm getting a certificate! That's going straight to the pool room (which in my small apartment is also called the living room)
4. Harvard students might be smart but they look just regular. Also when I tried to infiltrate, I got caught pretty quick. Apparently I no longer look like a student anymore.  Either that or I look stupid. Am unclear on whether I want it to be old or stupid. Contrary to what I learned, not everything is a win-win situation. 
5. I can't find the top sheet in my bed. I think they do things differently in Boston. Probably a time zone thing
6. You cannot ask for clam chowder, hold the clams. Otherwise it's a bowl of white sauce. And they think you're an idiot. Apparently they don't know about you attending Harvard. Will consider making sign or badge. 
7. Watching people work out in the hotel gym from your room is the same as you working out. But less sweaty. And not so tiring. Quite relaxing really. I see why people use exercise to unwind. 
8. I have a short span of attention and require regular snack breaks. From which I don't like to come back from. 
9. Emotions are inevitable in negotiations. So I will no longer feel bad about using crying as a guilt mechanism to get what I want. Harvard said I can. Sort of. Reading between the lines...
10. When the man from Nigeria (wearing a wedding ring) asked me what I was doing for dinner, looked me up and down then asked what my room number is, I was right to lie.  Sorry room 611. Also, sorry about the German social worked that might also be showing up...

When You Are Traveling For Business...

1. Everything will fit in your suitcase on departure. However, despite buying nothing, it will not fit on your return. So you will wear two dresses and socks with your heels on the plane.
2. The stuff you hang in the hotel closet will still be there when you leave. You will never see it again. And yet, your suitcase still will not shut.
3. You will either be far too early for your flight or you will do a personal best (PB) down the tarmac.
4. You will carefully lay out each work day outfit, complete with shoes and accessories when you are packing. Yet once you arrive, there will be a component missing from each outfit.  Better hope it's not your pants.
5. Dinner will be by yourself and you will pay for your drinks separately so that your corporate credit card receipt doesn't reflect the fact that you are a rampant alcoholic*.
6. You will be on the 31st floor so there will be no need to draw the curtains.  Then the window washer will wash your windows at the same moment that you get dressed.  It will be awkward for everyone.  It's not easy for them to go somewhere else in a hurry...
7. The batteries in the hotel TV remote will be sketchy.  And you will never be able to change from the hotel welcome screen.  You will not feel very welcome.
8. You will unexpectedly have to go to a meeting in a different building with 2 minutes to get there.  You will be told to go to the 47th floor.  You should go to the 14th.  That will require going back down to the lobby and going to a different elevator bank that services floors 1-20.  You will now be ridiculously late.  You will find the room and try and sidle on in, knowing that no one has met you and has no clue who you are.  You will try and become one with your chair.  It will not work.  They will shoot looks at you that mean "get out - not your meeting".  So you will make notes in your notebook in order to look engaged and as if you know what is going on.  You do not.  Also you are writing "take me to my happy place, take me to my happy place". You remain where you are.
9. You will make it through the week because you are a professional**
10. You will only drop your laptop once when you get it out for the airport screening.  Thank goodness it's not your personal one..
11. You will exchange knowing looks with all the other business travelers.  Your looks will say "we're in this together, we're business professionals, we have expense accounts, we're not like these others".  Then they will call security.

*or cake connoisseur
**and a wine drinker