- ...when our grandparents married* and we had the wedding out at the goat farm and the wedding pig on a spit set the carport on fire? No big deal, the Uncles just hosed it down. We will rebuild...
- ...having a new girl cousin a bit older than you and getting on like a house on fire. Similar to a carport on fire from a roasted pig on a spit. She was pretty outdoorsy, was actually a top Kiwi triathlete and I did everything I could to keep up with her. Including going along with some of her not so great ideas. Like the time she thought we should chop a path through the native bush so we could build a house in the middle. We got machetes** from the shed and starting hacking away. Luckily I know how she works so I was pretty sure that by the time we went back to the house for lunch, that would be the end of it. To this day, you can still see the spot where we made no noticeable progress at all.
- ...the time my girl cousin thought she found an abandoned boat in the marina and decided to adopt it so she could live on it. Anyone else see any flaws in this plan? But first we had to go on a recon mission to check it out and see what work it would require to turn it into a houseboat. Again, anyone see anything wrong with this? So we grabbed the dinghy and rowed out into the marina - it's different now but at the time no one went swimming in that part of the lake because it was infested with swan poop. I was instructed to keep the boat stable while she made the transition from the dinghy onto the potential floating home***. I might have failed. It's kind of like those movies when you see two cars racing down the highway while one person straddles the two and everyone cheers and then a truck and a tractor get involved and at the last minute everyone lives but only just. This was exactly the same, except on the water, without trucks or tractors, very little cheering and a not so happy (or dry) ending. There she was, straddling the two boats while I used my rowing skills to keep the dinghy steady. Except that I didn't. And the dinghy began to pull away from the boat as she determinedly maintained her position. Temporarily.
- ...going on Easter Egg hunts - especially if you're the oldest directing the operation so that the egg to cousin ratio comes out in your favor.****
- ...ditching your siblings when you've had enough and going over to the cousin side.
- ...blaming shit on*****
- ...when your cousin says he's going to sweep your feet out from under you by kicking them away but not to worry because he's then going to catch you. Only he doesn't and you hit the floor and get knocked out. And then you wake up and he's commandeered a friend to take you out to the back garden. He claims for air, I think it was to bury me. You're probably thinking we were quite young. 31 is pretty young. Beer can lead you to believe that you have better king-fu skills than you actually do. It also makes being knocked out, kind of hilarious.
- ...when you take your cousin on a trip to England and they hook up with your friend...
**Two teenage girls walking down the road with machetes in hand. No one batted an eyelid.
***Potential was the one thing this boat didn't have. It was floating and that was about its only saving grace.
****Hi
*****Sorry. The pocket knife incident, umm, that was me.
 |
| Belated... |
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