Flying First Class

I have flown First Class exactly 3 times in my life which is pretty minimal (and very sad) given the amount of flying I've done. Every one of these times was by accident.

1. Flying with my then boyfriend from London to New York. This was my Xmas present and we were flying Air India. It was booked months in advance so when we got to the airport and they had seated us separately, I was not happy. How am I supposed to have a romantic flight with some stranger next to me...I mean, I could probably make it work.  Anyway after one of us had a little hissy fit* we were upgraded to First Class. Which was very exciting. Until we got on board. First Class on Air India looked an awful lot like business class on other flights and this was before those lying down fancy bed things. As payback** we were in the last row in these fancy leather seats...that couldn't extend back all the way because of the barrier separating us from the riffraff in Economy. As payback to them, I sucked them dry of free champagne. As payback to me, I had a terrible hangover. Payback really is a bitch because all of a sudden, it's not payback anymore, it's a feud. Like the Hatfield's and the McCoy's. But in aviation.
2. Flying to England from Portland for a wedding. I started out in Economy, seated next to a very nice business man in a suit (I introduced him to yoga pants for flying). We had a good chat, then I took out my kitting*** and he went to sleep. Except for his hands. They were wide awake and all over me. He had the nerve to snore as well, as if he really was asleep. I poked the Attendant button with my needle and pointed at him and his hands and she moved me up to first class. Like, real first class! Like mimosa's in the middle of the night first class. Best flight ever. I'll let someone get frisky with me in their fake sleep anytime if the rewards are like this.
3. Flying to San Francisco for a job interview.  Pretty sure my first class seat was an accident because the company flying me out there booked it last minute and I think that's all that was left.  I flew back economy and that was after they offered me the job.  I didn't take it - how could I work for a company that flies me back on economy??  I have First Class tastes but an Economy paycheck...

*It was me. I do hissy better than him.
**Pretty sure it was deliberate which is one of the dangers of a hissy fit - you have to know when you've gone too far. I might have gone too far.
***Apparently wooden knitting needles are ok on a flight - this was after 911 - but a pocket knife is not? I think I'd rather be stabbed by the tiny blade on a pocket knife than have a knitting needle stuck in my ear where it can poke my brain out the other one. Pretty sure this is possible. I just Googled accidental death by knitting needle - an average of 2 a year. Probably grandmas.  People, let's try and keep Grandma safe and exercise some knitting needle safety procedures. 

I know this is stretching it when it comes to the actual blog topic but there is nothing funny that I could find about First Class flying other than rich people laughing at all the poor people in economy and this is a chicken in a knitted zip-up suit!!  I will say, it's not doing anything for her figure.  Wool can be very unforgiving...