Living In LA

People always ask me how can you live here? It's pretentious, they say. Well I live here and I'm not pretentious - have you seen my car? I can't be the only one. Statistically speaking and I've done the calculations which I think we all know will be pretty much almost correct,* that's impossible.

If I ever take a boy I like to Yoga, I'm gonna ask my teacher to do all the poses, I'm good at. That'll impress him. That's not pretentious, that's just an hour and forty minutes in shavasana** 

Then I ran into this at the fancy supermarket that I don't like to shop at because the wheatgrass and kale things scare me.  But also, I am lazy and it's a 2 minute walk from my house.  And if you put sugar and cake on wheatgrass, it's delicious.  I admit, this might be a little pretentious...although to be fair, it appears to come from New Jersey.

I don't know what this means but I am not drinking anything with Fulvics in it.  Sounds like pelvic and that's just not the area of the body I want involved in my drinking water...it's literally black water. 

*Came out to 12 degrees. So, that sounds right.
**Corpse pose for you non-yogis. Involves lying completely still on the ground and thinking about nothing. It's still a work in progress cos I get itches but nearly got it...