Waxing...and Other Beauty Ideas

This morning, I thought it would be a good idea to wax my upper lip just before I left for work. It wasn’t. I don’t really have a mustache, just some fine downy blonde hairs but everyone else is waxing, lasering and shaving their upper lip so I thought it was time.  Kind of like when I first shaved my legs - for some reason it was a big deal when I was growing up, some sort of rite of passage that your mother wanted you to hold off on for as long as possible but without telling you why.  Turns out it's because you have to then keep on shaving them for years and years until you die and the little blonde hairs you had turn into black ones.  One day without telling her, I shaved one leg.  Then the next year I did the other.  That way, I could position myself so the hairy leg always faced her and she would never know.  Less effective after the second leg and then it was too late.

But back to my lip.I found one of those wax strips you warm between your hands and rubbed it on my upper lip, braced myself and ripped it off. 

Notes: 

1. Ensure that the wax strip is adhering to your upper lip only.  Not the inside of your lip because it will rip a giant bleeding hole in it and then swell up. 
2. Not one single hair will come off.
3. Get ice for the inside of your lip. 

Other tips:

1. To save time, don’t shower
2. Every time you read about a new hair product. Buy it. Then later when it doesn’t work, mix them all together and sell them at your yard sale
3. When getting laser hair removal, don't go to a Russian nurse named Valentina whose husband will come in while you're half naked on the treatment table, to change out the water filter.  Apparently, that shit can't wait.