No one should be up at this time. It's dark so it's clearly night time. And the only benefit is that no one can see me making my sad little way to Boot Camp in the park or even better, attempting to work out.* And let me be clear, I'm only going because the McFinlayson** in me saw a good deal. $35 for 3, one hour sessions a week, for a month. And the park is at the bottom of my street - it's almost illegal for me not to do this. I wish I'd never found it, then I wouldn't have been guilted into doing it. It's pretty sad when you can't ignore your own feelings of guilt. I mean who am I planning on turning myself in to if I don't do this? The Kirsten Police*** are bad enough...
For the record, you can't move in this park without running into another boot camp, although most seem to be at a more reasonable hour. As I finished and walked through back through the park on my way home the other day, I overheard an instructor telling his people that the butt was an amazing muscle. And one of his participants in a low voice, responding with "not my butt". See, everyone loves working out...
So far everyone seems very nice although I am avoiding making friends in case they are better than me. I'm waiting for someone that I can beat to join. Hope that happens before Daylight Savings, also known as Quitting Time, kicks in. Although it's not really the place for making friends since you need to save all your breath for breathing.
The first day is always the hardest. Especially when the instructor shows up with scales and a ridiculous machine - that was obviously broken - that calculates your body fat. Whoa. I did not sign up for this. I signed up for some gentle calisthenics, same laying down on our mats and taking a group nap and possibly meeting my next boyfriend. Groupon, you have betrayed me.
So far I have done two weeks and have two to go. Everyone keeps talking in hushed tones about the "long run" which is awfully mysterious and quite frankly sounds awful. Two words that should never go together. Since most fitness classes in LA cost about $25 an hour, I've already gotten my money's worth, so maybe I don't need to go back? After all, look what happened in Stephen King's, "The Long Walk". That was just walking and everyone died except the winner which based on my own assessment of my skills, I'm pretty sure would not be me****.
*Obviously I'll have to quit once Daylight Savings starts. It's either that or become a super athlete before then. Quitting it is.
**Cheap Scot - love a good bargain. Just prefer it to be unrelated to exercise...
***This is a new thing that I just thought of. Think I will write a handbook detailing all the rules. Basically you (and by you, I mean me) can't do anything without being berated.
****Be a different case if it was the Long Math. Everyone knows how good I am at Math. I would definitely win that. As long as their was no Long Division.That's just made-up math.
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