Baby Foot - Part 1

I've decided to become a product tester.  It's pretty obvious from all the fan mail* I get that people look up to me and trust me and I think it's time I cashed in on that. So I will be reviewing products and providing you with feedback as I go through extensive testing.  If anyone has a product they want me to test, let me know.  I'm all over it.  Until I get bored which I feel is not far off.

This week's product is called Baby Foot and it's supposed to make your feet as smooth as a newborn baby.  It's basically a chemical peel using fruit acids.  But suspect there is a bit more to it because rubbing my foot with a banana did nothing.  It takes 5-7 days from the initial application and is allegedly** better than razor blades or sandpaper.  To be honest, I think pretty much anything is better than those two things coming into contact with any part of my body.

Day 1: Wash feet and soak for half an hour.  Figured the soaking was as good as washing them so I only did one of those things.  Well I was trying to read my Kindle and in my experience if you don't focus when reading a Kindle over water, you're heading for trouble.  Slip your feet into the booties coated with the magic sauce, secure them tightly and lay down.  It's best not to move around and they recommend leaving them on for an hour.  In the interests of science, I left them on for 2 hours.  What kind of tester would I be if I didn't push the envelope?  I mean if an hour is fine but an hour and a half and you only have one foot left then clearly, that's half an hour too long.  Safe to say I still have both my feet and had a lovely nap.

There I am.  Perfect, just stay here for 2 hours.  Ahhh.  I have to go to the loo.  No problem, shuffle carefully to the bathroom and then it's back to the couch.  No big deal.  Comfy again.  I need a drink of water.  Bugger this.  Albert - Mama needs a hand.

Picture of Albert giving me a helping hand...

Still Day 1: Half an hour after removing booties and washing feet thoroughly.  Nothing has happened. While I realize it has not been 5-7 days, I am still crushingly disappointed and have removed a brownie point product rating.

Have just realized that I forgot the "before" photos - I'm a little reluctant to post so if you're a man reading this and you're single.  Stop reading. 

Looking pretty good actually...

And...not so much.

*At last count: Albert, My Mother, My aunt and Wolfgang.
**As a product tester, I used words like allegedly and supposedly a lot.  One doesn't want to commit and promote a product too soon.