Did you know there is a global-wide organization that promotes going without meat on Mondays? It's now active in 34 countries. Apparently it's good for health reasons and the planet*.
If I find out that someone has started Muffinless Monday's, Taco-No-Go Tuesdays, Waffle-Without Wednesday's, Tequila-No Bueno Thursday or Friand-Free Friday, the shit is going to hit the fan. I am thankful there is no letter of the week that starts with "C". Anyone trying to go global with a cakeless day of the week will wish they had never been born. And will also be a recipient of one of my "looks". Probably my "hi, sorry, but I really am not a huge fan of that idea, maybe we could compromise" look. That's right, I can be very intimidating.
*To be honest, I have tried this but I found that too many lentils died in the process.
I'm on a boat. Sailing to Mexico. I am very international. I'm going to come back with the following:
- A tan
- A complete grasp of the Spanish Language
- A Xmas belly
- My own personal pinata, filled with chocolate, diamonds and a car.
- Bootleg Tequila*.
- A baby
- A baby burrito
- A zacahuil** - just going to pop it in my suitcase***
- Chihuahua's from Chihuahua for everyone of my friends. Going to ask for bulk discount. Then pop them in the post.
- A contract to be a cabaret singer on a cruise ship.****
*Or I might just buy some. I don't want to get arrested in Mexico. They're very threatened by New Zealand so I probably wouldn't last long in prison. Also, I don't know where to get bootleg tequila, I'm not sure of the quality and it just seems easier to buy it...also I don't like it.
**A Mexican tamale, three feet long and weighing about 150 pounds. I might get a dozen.
***Same with the baby. Burrito goes in my handbag for easy access.
****Let's be realistic. The other things probably aren't going to happen.
