It's The Day Before The Day Before Xmas!

I'm on a boat. Sailing to Mexico. I am very international. I'm going to come back with the following:

1. A tan
2. A complete grasp of the Spanish Language
3. A Xmas belly
4. My own personal pinata, filled with chocolate, diamonds and a car.
5. Bootleg Tequila*.
6. A baby
7. A baby burrito
8. A zacahuil** - just going to pop it in my suitcase***
9. Chihuahua's from Chihuahua for everyone of my friends. Going to ask for bulk discount. Then pop them in the post.
10. A contract to be a cabaret singer on a cruise ship.****

*Or I might just buy some. I don't want to get arrested in Mexico. They're very threatened by New Zealand so I probably wouldn't last long in prison. Also, I don't know where to get bootleg tequila, I'm not sure of the quality and it just seems easier to buy it...also I don't like it.
**A Mexican tamale, three feet long and weighing about 150 pounds. I might get a dozen.
***Same with the baby. Burrito goes in my handbag for easy access.
****Let's be realistic. The other things probably aren't going to happen.