Running

You know what I dislike about races and fun runs? Running. Also, the disappointment and lack of body control.  You get your bib, timing chip, pick out the perfect outfit*, train on a regular basis** and the big day finally arrives. You show up, mingle with your people***, do some of those fancy stretches and line up at the start. 

The gun goes, you take off and immediately start hyperventilating from the nerves. Your legs are going off in different directions, none of which is forward and you can't catch your breath despite the weeks of training.*** Then all of a sudden, you're being carted off two minutes out of the starting line to receive oxygen. Not because you're unfit but because you're nervous about a race that at best you would just finish. You're not in line for any medals, you don't even have a best time to beat, your biggest achievement was pinning the bib to your shirt correctly. 

And now you're in the ambulance area and your race is over. Good job.

*Some people pick out their outfit for optimum running conditions. Which is fine but I prefer to select it based on how good I look in it in case there are photos opportunities along the way.
**Or not.
***Not really your people because they run regularly but it's important to talk the talk and walk the walk. Well, run the run but never let them know you're not really one of them. Try discussing pb's and glucose drinks. Which sounds like a delicious snack but is not...
****Not me, I like to show up on the day and see how it goes.