One time, I painted a terracotta pot with a heart and sent it to the boy I had a crush on at the time. It was pretty impressive but I don't know what I was thinking. What 18 year old male wants to get a planter pot as a gift? It wasn't even filled with anything. What did I think he was going to do with that? Put it in his pocket? Not to worry, he ignored it completely and either it's currently (20 plus years on) growing a nice set of parsley or the mailman took a fancy to it and never delivered it. I'm going to put that on the list of gifts not to give.
This year I got crafty and made my nieces some heartfelt gifts. This happened:
- There was too much glue...
- I put moss in and realized after posting it that it might not make it through customs**.
- Shit would not stick down. Throwing it across the room also did not help.
- Decided there was not much I could do about (1) so just threw sparkly stuff at glue and whatever was still standing when the dust settled, made the grade
- 2 minutes in...got bored.
- 4 minutes in...ate the chocolates I bought for them
- 10 minutes in...realized problem was I was attempting to craft without wine.
- 1 hour later...should not have crafted with wine. Accidentally bedazzled my yoga pants...and cat, bleeding and can no longer see creative vision. Or anything else much...
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| Don't look too closely... |
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| Girls love sparkly things. Note: Not edible. Tried. |
**Apparently made it through customs and I am very sorry, New Zealand, for introducing a dangerous moss that is about to bring down our entire agricultural system.
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