Things I Don't Know How To Buy*

• Computers. The good news is I work in Digital Technology. The bad news is, none of it appears to have rubbed off. I know I need GB's and RAM and Space Invaders but that's about it.
• Cars. The important things like heated seats are apparently only important to me. Imagine my joy on discovering that there was also such a thing as heated steering wheels. And then I find myself offering $10,000 more for these assets while the car salesman looks on...somewhat embarrassed by my inability to negotiate off MSRP**.
• Jeans. Does anyone?  This is where you need to take your most honest friend and a sippy cup of alcohol.  You may not be friends at the end of it but you will still have your sippy cup.  And no jeans.
• Mangoes.  Apparently if they're squishy, they're over-ripe.  So I buy the firmer ones.  And surprise, they're hard.  And does anyone know how to cut the stupid things?  Mangoes are all fun and games until you try and buy one.  And then cut one up.  And then eat one.  To summarize: Mangoes are not all fun and games.  

*The good news is that I negotiate for a living.  The bad news is I cannot apply it in my own life.  This is only bad news for me.  Go one, sell me something...you'll get twice what you asked for and a bonus one-eyed cat thrown in for good measure.
**Whatever that is...