Ear Muffs, Albert!

So before I was a cat lady*, I was a dog girl - I was younger. When I lived in New Zealand, I had a dog called Shelby. Named after the lead character on Steel Magnolias**. I loved that dog, she slept next to me in bed with her little head on a pillow, her own electric blanket controls and pretty much all the same perks that Albert has. Which is perfectly normal. When I would get home from work, I'd stop at the top of the drive to get the mail from the letterbox and she would sit on my lap for the drive down the hill to the house. I let her steer. She wasn't very good***. Sometimes all the time we hit the hedge. And we laughed and laughed.  And then left the car there.

So that was the happy part. If sad things upset you, stop reading now.

One day while I was at work****, we got burgled. I was living with my cousin at the time who had a Golden Labrador called Molly. The two of them had a very clever run that we'd built out the back for them. It was so clever that every day they dug their way out. And every day we built more of the Great Wall of China underground to stop them. That Great Wall of China is not all it's cracked up to be. The good news is that the dogs stopped the burglars from breaking in. The bad news is that they took Shelby. Luckily the neighbor behind us witnessed it all and went and hid under her bed. Because calling the police was too obvious for a grown woman. That was the last year she got a Xmas card from me.

Turns out there was a dog fighting ring in the area and the police think Shelby was taken so she could fight. Hah burglars!  Jokes on you - sort of. Shelby was as much of a fighter as Albert is. And let me remind you of all the things that Albert is not afraid of. Nothing. Albert's most comfortable position: flat on his stomach under the couch fighting with the dust bunnies. Who kick his arse every time. 
The vet told me that with the type of dog she was (mongrel is a harsh word, I prefer shepherd/doberman/rottweiler mix but primarily shepherd), she would likely die of a broken heart as they're one person dogs. Albert is also like that. Except for the dog part*****.

So, that was that. I choose to believe that she died of a broken heart rather than in a dog fight. If you are wondering if I handled it well, I did not. My mother sent my brother up from the city he lived in to check on me, my aunt sent me to the hairdresser for a pick-me-up haircut and I pined. Fair warning for when something happens to Albert. Right, well that was uplifting, wasn't it. Come back tomorrow for some more cheerful stories....

*And again, let me remind the doubters that a true cat lady has more than one, she clearly takes very good care of all of them because they have all their eyes so there is still a slim chance for me.
**I challenge anyone to get through that movie without shedding a tear.
***But imagine her today with one of those assisted parking things in the car.
****Which just backs up my theory that working is bad for you.
*****Apparently this is what I do - animals, people, cake. They meet me and I become their one person. No wonder I'm single - men are clearly afraid of falling under that kind of spell.