Some Little-Known Facts About Me

1. I have an uncanny sense of when an earthquake is about to happen. I woke up a mere 15 minutes after the last big one occurred.
2. I am not actually a Cat-Lady. I like dogs. Thankfully Albert can't read and we continue to live a lie.
3. I have a friend whose parents dug a grave for their ailing dog in anticipation of its death. The dog rallied but they continue to keep the grave and show it to the dog every time it misbehaves. I think this is a good way to raise children*. I have some other great ideas. Please ask.
4. I don't have a lot of feeling in my left lower leg and foot due to a ruptured disc in my back. I can't always guarantee that the leg is shaved since I can't feel the razor. I like to think of this a nice surprise for people.  Boys, mostly.  I'm still single.
5. I have a gift for numbers**.
6. I can handle my alcohol***.
7. I was born with no sense of rhythm.  Am currently receiving treatment but it doesn't appear to have taken.  Go on, ask me to dance...
8. My secret name is Auntie Gherkin but I will also respond to Gherkie.  Don't tell anyone
9. I buy myself birthday presents from the cat. It's a way of getting more presents. It's not fooling anyone.  Except the cat.  He's oblivious.
10. I have three tattoos.  Yeah, I'm hardcore.  I drew them all myself. One of them is a cat.****  People have commented on how nice my pineapple tattoo is. 

*I anticipate a lot of back-lash related to this.
**See previous posts. Go on ask me anything. 2+9=14. Bam!
***Up to two drinks. Then I have to be taken home. 
****This particular tattoo has been abused - it has been barked at and in addition to the pineapple, mistakenly identified as an artichoke and a dreidel.