My Party Weekend

This past weekend, I went to two parties. Mostly because I was sandwiched between the two and wouldn't have been able to sleep anyway. Also, I think they forgot to invite me so I didn't want to embarass them by not showing up...

The neighbor in the building next to me was celebrating her birthday in the driveway/parking spot at the back and the neighbor on the other side, in my building, was also celebrating a birthday.

So, on my left, I have the all-American producer/director type party with a complete stereo system, fancy beer and a taco man.  On my right, I have a Middle-Eastern themed party with (mostly gay) Australian actors, complete with rugs and cushions for lounging on the concrete.

At one point there was talk of tearing down the Berlin Wall between us and combining but then we realized (a) the wall was made of heavy duty concrete blocks and only one person was stupid enough to try that.  Multiple times. Too much fancy beer, I think (b) it was not a landlord-approved renovation (c) one side of the party were a bunch of tossers and we didn't want to fraternize with them anyway. Sorry, Australia - America wins the bunch of tossers award.  Even with points for having a taco man*.  

I'm just gonna go ahead and say it - I love my Australian neighbors. I know I'm supposed to hate them but they are always so welcoming despite the fact that I am much younger and better looking than them**. I try to be their parent figure (even though they have expressed no desire for this but obviously as the parent figure - I have experience with Albert - I know best) but having no sense of responsibility probably doesn't help.  Although I did raise a questioning eyebrow when they lit the Tiki torches out at the front of the driveway.  Having raised said eyebrow, my job was done and I agreed that a fire was only 50% likely which was excellent odds.  Also my apartment is on the other side.

I tried to make conversation with some of the Americans - when I asked one guy what he did, he told me he was "in the Biz"***.  Not entirely sure what "the Biz" is and when I pressed him on it, he wasn't really able to explain and just said "you know - same as everyone here".  Since I didn't know anyone, that didn't help but I guess he wasn't used to people not accepting stupid blanket statements.  Then he informed me that "Well, actually I'm just about to start at this company that is notoriously hard to get into. I'll be working "in production" so it's kind of a big deal."  Since I was still being polite at that stage****, I asked where and he smirked and announced with way more pomp and ceremony than was warranted - "NBCUniversal."  I tried to look suitably impressed which didn't happen. So to save the situation, I announced with a lot more pomp and ceremony than was necessary, that I already work there and they basically hired me off the street. Might have stretched it a little when I mentioned that I was kind of a big deal*****. So he left.  

And then I left.  And I took the taco man.


*When I win the lottery, I'm going to have a hairdresser, make-up person and taco man on standby. At all times.
**And by younger and better looking, I mean, I am lying.  And old.  And a bit past my best...
***Bit wanky.
****I was only on Cider Number 1. Of 2.
*****Think at that point he realized I had out-wankered him.