Online Dating - My Last Attempt: Part 2

The good news is that I will never run out of material. The bad news is I can't stand it any longer so my month long experiment is nearly over with.

This very charming Indian gentleman has some great theories on why I am single.  I agree with him.  Although he left out "stupid."

He goes on to provide us all with some valuable information on Indian cell phone rates.  I think if we all bundle our plans we might be able to get a group discount.  Who's with me?

I guess he watched a lot of "Friends" and thought if it worked for Joey, it might work for him.  It didn't.

Look, I'm willing to look past a missing "g" and hope that "huging" isn't actually a thing.  I'll even accept that man-sized fingers caused him to write completely nonsensical stuff.  What I'm struggling with is the lean meat comment.  Also that seems like a lot of meat.  Right?  Is that on top of his non-lean meat?  Should I ask for a complete breakdown?

Isn't it illegal to use lines like this? 

No.  Feel that he's not entirely sold on me. He needs to see more so he can make up his mind.  FYI - both my photos clearly show me and my face, there is no blurring, sunglasses or pictures of things that are not of me for them to be confused about...wish I could say the same for most of theirs.  For the record, I was not sold on him from his very first picture.  Or his extremely interesting description of riding dirt bikes for fun.

Do the capital letters mean something?  Am I to be his Only Friend?  He seems to have a very non-discriminate use of capitals.  Which when read with emphasis on the said capitals, sounds quite extreme. 

I've never been "defiantly" kissed.  Does anyone have any experience with that?  Sounds like maybe I said no to a kiss and he did it anyway.  Also, Santa Barbara is a bit of a drive....

I must say, I think it's very nice that if he had a sweater he would give it to me.  However he's quite emphatic that only IF we had fun would he ask me out again.  Stands to reason.

Keep it simple, people. 

Right, because demanding things always works well with me...

I'm not sure where to even start with this one.  Seems like he starts out unsure how to talk about himself and then manages to.  Not coherently but maybe it made sense in his head.  This is his first time in line.  For reals.

He goes on to add...well, a bunch more stuff that doesn't sense.

So, this is going well.  These all seem very promising.