Monday, June 16, 2014

One-Handedness

When you live by yourself, you learn to do a lot of things with one hand:
  1. Bandage yourself after being punctured with any one of the following: staple gun, drill (half inch bit - if you're lucky), BBQ skewer (this is needed for turning off the smoke alarm. You just stab at it until the off button accidentally gets hit or the whole thing falls off the ceiling) and hammer (claw-end obviously - you may wonder how this happens.  Pretty common if you ask me - one minute you're vigorously hammering something and the next, it flies backwards out of your hand and the claw part lands in your eye.  Or your cats.). You will need to apply a tourniquet depending on the severity of the wound which I find is usually a direct correlation to the type of home improvement you are failing to improve.
  2. Replace light bulbs - one hand to hold yourself onto the stool balanced on the chair, the other to remove the casing and old bulb, extract new bulb from the safety of your bra - what? where else was I going to put it on the climb up? - and replace.  Always have vacuum ready to clean up the shards from either the casing or the old bulb.  You're going to drop one of them.
  3. Thought this would be a longer list.

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