50 Shades Of Shavasana

I don't really know what that title means but I thought of it during shavasana so I think that means something. I think it also means that I wasn't supposed to be thinking of things other than nothing while I was practicing shavasana. Here's a list of some other things that I wasn't thinking:

1. I have laundry to do - why I am lying here doing nothing when I have laundry to do?
2. This floor slopes downwards. That's probably why my ankles look fat. It's not me, it's the floor.
3. I am thinking of nothing, I am thinking of nothing. Cow wearing tap shoes. Shit.
4. Shavasana, schmasana. Hmm. That's one word that doesn't really work with the whole "sch" thing. It's no Joe Schmoe.
5. I wonder what that person next to me would do if I touched their arm. If she touched my arm, I'd bite her. I have a no touch during shavasana rule
6. The first rule of shavasana is that nobody talks about shavasana. That's because we all feel guilty for not thinking about nothing.
7. If I'm not thinking about nothing, does that mean I'm thinking about something? How does that work with double negatives? Aren't I supposed to be in an enlightened frame of mind right now. Enlightened feels an awful lot like confused.
8. I'm hungry
9. Well, now everyone can hear that I'm hungry. The whale mating sounds aren't coming from the relaxing music.
10. I can never come back here again
11. "If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!" There's no clapping in Shavasana
12. Was Yogi Bear a Yogi? "Hey there, Boo, Boo - let's make our way to Downward Dog."
13. Focus, Focuus, Fooccuuussss. Nope. Lost it.
14. This music is very soothing. I bet I couldn't dance to it. 
15. I love everyone.
16. Wait.  Not everyone.  I don't love that screaming child outside.
17. I love almost everyone.  Just not that kid, the firetruck, ambulance, those people staring at us and some others that come to mind.
18. I'm mildly fond of just a few people.
19. I hate everyone. 
20. Am I at 50 yet?  I might have to skip a couple.  Maybe no one will notice.
21. 20 is the new 50.  That doesn't even make sense.
22. Well shit, now I finished on an odd number.  I don't trust odd numbers
23. I was born on an odd number.  Maybe it's even numbers I don't trust.  
24. All numbers are bad as soon as you have to do math-like things with them.
25. I guess 25 is the new 50.