Names I would Name the Children I Don't Have

I'm bound to offend someone with this. I thought about apologizing. And then I thought, no.

1. Twins - Beryl and Trevor
2. Albert Nigel. Because this is already proven to be a great name. Then I would have Albert Nigel the cat and Albert Nigel the imaginary child. Who could be boy or girl since I think the names are gender neutral. Albert is a lovely girls name. Bert for short.
3. Doctor. This will make my imaginary kid sound super smart. First day of school - "Doctor Finlayson?" "Here." Those other kids won't stand a chance.
4. Shifty Dodger (could either be hyphenated or a first and second name)
5. Dodgy Shifter (same as above)
6. Vegas - this will be the one time where what happened in Vegas is pretty frickin' obvious.
7. Cinderella - what little girl doesn't want to be named after a princess?  Only see this as an issue if it's a boy...
8. Cheese.  Cos I love cheese.  I also love peanut butter but that would be mean and my imaginary kid would probably get teased a lot.  By its imaginary friends.
9. I think I will have 9 imaginary children (surprisingly, it's not as hard as the real thing.  Apparently).  2-8 will just be chronological order e.g. 2nd, 3rd etc.  
10. 4Real.  Banned in New Zealand but I live in America!  Apparently the story behind this is that when the father found out that they were expecting, he cried out "4real!" in complete surprise.  Not "for real" like you might expect.  And there was no zed added on as in "4realz".  Which is a shame.  Other banned names included Anal, Christ, Messiah , Mr, *, Majesti (nice creative spelling there) and Juztice (also showing good use of the "Z").  

We're a fairly unique country but not alone - Sweden also banned Superman and Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116.  Which looks like what Albert typed in an email to his grandmother last night. When he lay down on the keyboard to do it...