Flasks and Foraging Part 2

If you have been waiting with bated breath for me to complete the story from last week, you are probably dead. No one can hold their breath that long, even those free-divers.

So, where was I?
Wanted a flask, didn't get one, had to buy my own. Poor me
Wanted outdoor furniture, too cheap to pay more than $10
Met a bunch of addicts, made friends. Now have someone to sit on outdoor furniture with me.
Had some delicious burrata
Came up with new plan to get outdoor furniture and use flasks

And so the story continues...

Apparently if you drive around Beverley Hills the night before garbage pick-up, you can get all sorts of furniture and rich people stuff that they just put out by the road. It’s true; it’s in my “The Cheap Bastards Guide to Los Angeles” book. I thought this would be fun and productive for me and my friend - we’ll call her “M” to preserve her anonymity in case she feels shame at scavenging off rich people. We’ll call me “K” to protect my anonymity as well. Now, M has a new car and has had the windows tinted. Because it’s easier to drink from a flask in your car behind tinted windows. There was something else about preserving the interior of the car but I think it’s more about the flask. I thought tinting was illegal but she thinks only on the driver window, which she had done anyway. Also, it’s probably only an issue if they pull you over and you’re drinking out of your flask behind your tinted window. Now I kind of have tinted window envy because I have to drink out of my flask in the open but since my car is a heap, not much point in getting tinted windows so thought I would just tack up some black paper. Will just staple it to leather in car – which then makes it perfect for driving to Bev Hills and scrounging all their free stuff that they’ve thrown out. Yes, this plan will work.

Plan is to dress in black, take flasks and my black paper tinted window car and pull up to curb in Bev Hills next to fabulous item, jump out, throw in car and speed off. Unless of course said fabulous item is complete outdoor table and chair set with recliner accessory and umbrella. Will tie to back of car and drag it just far enough away from house so we can tie it on to roof. We may need a third person if anyone wants in but you have to bring your own flask.

Somewhere along the way, I think I might have lost all of you reading this. I'm a bit lost myself. Seemed so clear in my head initially. The point is that I need outdoor furniture so I can lie on it and drink out of my flask, I have to go to Beverley Hills to get it and my car windows need to be tinted so I can drink out of my flask and take free stuff from rich people.

Of course this is now completely redundant since my landlord kicked me out (I like to call "selling the house", kicking me out) and now I live in a place where there can be no outdoor furniture. So, now I can't drink out of my flask and it's completely useless.

This is what I have been reduced to...

Things that do not fit in flasks: Cake