Sometimes I...

• Add something to my list of things to do that I've already done so I can cross it off and feel accomplished. Sometimes that's the whole list and then I sit down and relax whilst congratulating myself for excelling.
• Don't get dressed
• Curse and swear at other drivers. Actually not sometimes...
• Am very, very good. But mostly not.
• Have an extra cup of tea in the morning. Don't hate
• Eat cake. Also, not sometimes...
• Have a good hair day. Last November
• Sing out loud. And then I get shushed.
• Think I can dance. But then I can't
• Soothe myself with wine. Called cake.
• Talk to my cat. But it's ok because he talks back.How embarrassing would it be, if he ignored me?
• Count Mini Cooper's on the drive to work. But not obsessively. Because I don't do it on weekends. Because it doesn't count if it's not the same route.
• Don't make my bed. But I always wash the dishes.
• Wish I knew more about Physics so I could invent a portal and go home for the weekend. I've got the Marketing Plan ready to go, I'm just missing the science.
• Think about getting up but then I don't
• Think about ironing clothes before I actually need to wear them. And then I decide to wear something else.
• Have nowhere to go when I look really good.  Which then reverses when I have somewhere to go.
• Hate beautiful people even though Pantene told me not to. 
• Think I am mutton dressed as lamb
• Pretend I am going to get up and workout before work. 
• Put workout clothes on and walk all the way to the couch
• Think I look good in hats. And then I put one on...
• Want to go camping. But just for one night, then hotel.
• Want to run away, travel, live off the land and have no cares and responsibilities but then I remember my retirement savings plan doesn't allow for that.  And by retirement savings plan, I mean the lottery. And then I remember that I don't buy tickets.