Why I Hate Mondays

This is how I deal with my problems.  I get a fighting cat.  With two eyes.

1. They're not Fridays.
2. No one reads my blog on Mondays.
3. I have no thoughts on Mondays - used up all my brain power just getting out of bed.
4. Who doesn't? If you love Monday's, we can't be friends. In fact, I hate you. Not same same people.
5. Monday's hate me. They're out to get me from the moment I wake up. Monday has a mean streak.
6. I look like I was dragged out of bed - the hair that seemed so "beachy" on Sunday is, what's the word? Ugly.
7. I have to put on my grown-up clothes. I'm not old enough.
8. Monday's last 67%* longer than other days.
9. I have to start my diet again. Luckily, if I mess it up today**, I can wait until next Monday to start over.
10. It's actually impossible to start anything before noon on Mondays***.
11. Sunday night: I'm starting to feel sick tomorrow.
12. Here's a list of things I'd like to do today:

*Confirmed fact. By me. And my calculator. Into which I put 67%.
**I reviewed the statistics on this and by my calculations, there is 117% probability of this happening. Although I was somewhat surprised by the 17%. But there's no arguing with math.
***Depending on your viewpoint, this can be good or bad. I think this is what is known as the law of physics. Yes, that definitely sounds right.