Sacrifices

In order to meet new people, sometimes one must do things that they would not normally choose to do. And they must pretend to like it. And get the tee-shirt. And maybe even a bumper sticker. For me this is joining a Social Sports League*. There are several around and they usually have two options - Competitive and Non-Competitive. I rank myself at below Non-Competitive when it comes to sports unless we are talking Crosswords or Scrabble in which case I will rip you apart.

When I lived in Portland, I joined a Kickball league which is not a sport we have in New Zealand. Despite being on a team made up of friends of mine, it was not a huge success. In the first game, while I successfully caught the ball (a minor miracle), I then got taken out by an opposing team member who viewed tagging the base differently to me. Ended up with bloody knee, torn pants and a "Player of the Game" pity award. Also pizza. Which quite frankly was the only reason I joined in the first place.

So, if I must, I am prepared to try this again** but honestly, I would rather do any of these first:

1. Poke my eyeballs out with a stick. Doesn't even need to be sharp or pointy
2. Walk on Lego
3. Go shopping for swimsuits and/or jeans
4. Mop hardwood floors
5. Go to the tip/dump
6. Go to work
7. Move house
8. Eat sardines
9. Sing in public
10. Master Math

*Is there a league out there that will just let come to the games and watch but participate in the drinking and eating at bars afterwards? Because I think I would excel at that. I'll even pay full dues...I think we can all agree that everyone is better off when I don't play.
**First, one must make the decision on which sport to play:

• Dodgeball seems dangerous given my face's ability to catch balls. 
• Kickball is a little more likely but not if they expect any level of skill. 
• Soccer - despite having played for a lot of my childhood, very little rubbed off and I'm not good for much more than prancing around by the goal post pretending I am participating. 
• Basketball - let me stop you right there. 
• Softball - I don't think I should be in charge of a bat. 
• Volleyball - it's possible but I'm not doing it in a bikini. Or on sand. Or on a court. Ok, I guess I'm not doing volleyball. 
• Darts - traumatic experience involving a backwards flying dart and a war veteran's head has ruled this out. 
• Pool/Snooker - yes but I'm only good during beers 2 and 3. Before and after are a bit random so there's a very small window.
• Bowling - makes me angry