Work

Apologies for the late posting today - I had to go to that other place all day today and work. Apparently I have to go back tomorrow too.

I'd really like to write about my day at work today but it might not bode well for my future employment so instead I compiled some stats:

Number of cups of coffee: I don't drink coffee but today I had three. Because it was a Monday. Also we have one of those machines where you stick a little packet in labelled Coffee (you can choose coffee from many different places around the world. Today I went Colombian) and then coffee comes out. And sometimes it jams when you do it wrong. Somebody did it wrong today. Just so you know, you can't fit two packets in at the same time just because you think you're making a double espresso. What happens is a double nothing and a big mess and then you have to lie to Maintenance about the person that allegedly used it before you.

Number of emails I sent: A lot. If my boss is reading this, I had my highest email output yield ever today.

Number of times I answered the phone and pretended it was a bad connection: Hardly any. If my boss is reading this, it really was a bad connection when you called. All four times.

Number of drive-bys past the muffins in the kitchen: 12.  But I just licked the tops.

Number of ergo assessments had today: 1. Apparently I am doing it all wrong. I should stop working. It's a Health & Safety issue

Number of work-related conversations with colleagues: 24.  I think there are things I'm supposed to do...

Number of non work-related conversations with colleagues: Absolutely none.  I would never do that. 

Work outfit score from the office: 10 out of 10*

*Scored by me

No. of corporate jargon terms I used today: 9. I'm not sure I have enough bandwidth. Let's synch up tomorrow and collaborate on that project. I'm going to need to benchmark those figures. It's not really their core competency. I'm a critical thinker. This is a game-changer. I'm going to target the low-hanging fruit. We're a matrix organization here except for those that are siloes. I'm looking for a seat at the table with the stakeholders.

No. of times I knew what I meant: None.

Things I dislike about work: Waking up. Working

Things I like about work: Apparently the coffee. This is a new and delightful surprise.

Most productive time of the day: 9:31am - 9:37am. I nailed it.

Thoughts I had while at work:

1. It's 11am and I just finished lunch. Now what am I supposed to do?
2. Go away Facebook, I'm trying to work
3. Work fascinates me, I can sit and look at it for hours
4. I should have been a ninja. I wonder where you apply. I look good in black
5. It's good to be at work. They have air conditioning
6. I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm going to smile and write something down. There, "something". Please don't read my notes.
7. I'm gonna do some push-ups. Nope, too hard.

Well, that's a wrap on another day where I acted exactly like I knew what I was doing.