Cake Decorating - Part 2

Let's bake, bitches*! 

I know, I can't really pull that off. I think it's my delivery. I think if I said it while brandishing a spatula, it would really help.

If you don't know what I'm talking about then I suggest you go back and read my previous post, Cake Decorating - Part 1.  How can you expect to know what is going on in my life if you're not following me every minute of the day?

I decided to bake my cakes on Sunday just in case there was an accident and I ate them before decorating day. There was an accident. So I baked some more on Monday. And then I baked even more because one of them picked a fight with me and refused to rise more than an inch. I decided to do gluten-free cake mix because I'm allergic to wheat and in case there was an accident and I ate them, then it wouldn't aggravate my allergy.  One of my better ideas.  

See how it mocks me knowing its evil no-rise oven plan

Those lumps that you see are called laziness.  

These beaters were not cleaned in my mouth...

So, now I'm ready to decorate. In the future, I will have people do this baking part for me. It's just too open to accidents. Also I'm very busy with the ideas part. I want you to know that I had big plans to attach a video of me making the cake from start to finish including measuring the ingredients (I don't actually measure. Measuring is for amateurs. A real chef estimates. Which is why this real chef had to do it again), using the mixer (FYI - a hand mixer is not like a KitchenAid mixer, you can't turn it on, prop it up and walk away. That will result in the bowl moving to the floor, lying on its side and the mixer spraying batter everywhere. Which only happened once - I'm a very fast learner) and dropping the cake pan upside down when trying to put it in the oven (silicone cake cans are very flimsy and you should use both hands because once they start to wobble, catching them mid-air is not a viable option). The video was going to have Donna Summer playing in the background with the perfect baking song but I hit a technical hitch called "I don't know how to do it."

Tonight is the night to decorate, there might be tears.  Don't cry Schmistine, don't cry.  It will still taste good...

*Sorry Schmistine, I didn't mean you were a bitch.  I was just trying to be cool.  I'm sorry I'm not cool.  Is it the spatula?