So Monday is here...

If you're wondering if I had a good nights sleep. Thanks for asking. No. Because when the smoke alarm goes off in the middle of the night and you stumble out of bed to stop it and realize that the ceilings are too tall and a chair isn't going to cut it and you stick a chair on top of the desk, you are bound to fall off and hurt yourself. But it's no good lying on the floor looking at what is clearly a broken ankle-foot-leg* because the smoke alarm won't care, it will just keep screaming "I will protect you from fire, carbon monoxide...and cooking toast"

*Self-diagnosed so no room for doubt. Better get the band-aids out again

And then your neighbors start waking up so you should put clothes on. And get back on the horse...chair on desk...and disarm it like the professional you are.

Disarm it with a smile and when that doesn't work, smack it.

FYI - there is a button that looks like an off switch. It's not. You have to cut off it's head. Like a Hydra. I finally wounded it enough so that it was just emitting intermittent baby bleeps. Which I decided I could live with. Not so my neighbors. Who can apparently live with barky dogs just fine. So now there are parts all over the floor and a bit of a hole in the ceiling but I hardly ever look up anyway.

And now Monday really gets going...

Something just didn't feel right...oh it's because it's no longer attached...

And then it kicked me in the arse...

You want to talk about no longer attached - the top of the shoe has had a serious disagreement with the bottom and they've parted ways...

And now I have no shoes to wear.

See?

Then Monday punched me in the face...

But I took it on the chin...and continued to get ready. Got myself some of that new Vaseline spray moisturizer. "Just Spray and Go!"** FYI - nozzle has a mind of its own. Wall is very well moisturized.

**Lies. Spray, spray some more, rub in, nothing happens, repeat. Give up.

And then Monday went quiet on me and I relaxed and then Monday was like "One Sec". And then...

 Just kidding - that was someone else's Monday. I'm waiting for the rest of Monday to hit - if each day is a gift, is it possible to return Monday? This may be the first post with an afternoon update because you know Monday isn't done with me yet...Just going to plan out my week in preparation for what's to come...

Monday
Monday 1
Monday 2
Monday 3
Friday
Saturday
Pre-Monday