Weekly Round-up

• Cruise to Mexico is back on and booked despite the Government trying to shut me down. Turns out you can have three to a room for the same price.  When I get a roadblock thrown at me like that, I like to fall apart, bemoan how unlucky I am and announce that my life is over while stomping out of the room and slamming the door.  Surprisingly enough, there's usually a solution.  Which makes my dramatics look a little overly dramatic.  So, apologies to the Government and I take back the stomp and slam.
• Audience Stats - To my friends and followers in Iceland - "sefshfjshf!"*. Also welcome to Vanuatu, Spain, South Korea and Afghanistan.  
• Blog Monetary fund: Empty.
• Tupperware - still have 17 round containers and 2 square lids.  Willing to trade for a lot of money** to add to aforementioned Blog Monetary Fund.
• Achievements/Hobbies: 

1. Cake Decorating - Level: Extreme (know your limits). 
2. Blind Putting-Up - Level: Not Quite Competent (currently stapled to wall)
3. Earthquake Training & Awareness - Level: Pretty Good As Long As I Can Take My Purse.  
4. Parenting - Level: Gold Star for Imaginary Children (B- for cat due to eye incident)
5. Dating - Level: Could Use some Work. 
6. Guitar Playing - Level: Fail***

• Cockroach -seems to have left of his own volition.  I left a picture lying around of dead cockroaches to send a message.  I think he went out the cat door and down the ramp.  

 

• Albert got his first fan mail - he was sent a packet of Mickey Mouse band-aids by a friend who was concerned that Hello Kitty was damaging his manly reputation**** - so the next time he has a booboo and his eye falls out or his leg falls off, I'll slap on a mickey band-aid and call it good.

*Not a word. Made it up. Testing them to see if they're paying attention
**A lot of money is probably a billion, I think.
***Although have not actually started.  I decided to teach myself how to play the guitar, which was a bad decision, cause I didn't know how to play it. So I was a shitty teacher. I would never have went to me.
 ****To be fair, I did have him neutered so his lack of manliness is partly my fault. I had his reproductive man parts ripped out so it's possible it's not his fault that he's such a pussy.