A Day At The Races...

For those of you that don't know. Which is pretty much everyone. I used to work for the TAB in New Zealand taking phone bets for horse racing. In fact I still have an account with a likely amount of $0.43 in it. Betting on races is definitely something that I am good at. Like math. And some other things that I can't think of right now. Because there are too many.

Anyway, the point is that, I know racing. It's not as complicated as people make it out to be with their doubles, trebles, trifecta's, boxed trifecta's, forecasts etc*. Pretty much nothing matters but first place. Luckily I was able to explain all of this to my friend so she could see I was an expert. I'm not gonna lie, she looked pretty impressed. When I explained about "first".

We made a couple of imaginary bets on some races, based on the horse names which is how you should always do it unless you are more inclined to pick based on the jockey's silks**. My friend who we will call "M" because it's important that no one knows her secret imaginary horse racing gambling problem, won a lot of imaginary money in her first race. Never seen anyone so excited. Not even the people winning real money.

This horse is faking being nice.  His name is Peanut.  Well, not actually Peanut but I forgot it the minute the trainer said it so we'll just call him Peanut.  He certainly enjoyed eating them.  Note: If you don't have peanuts in your hand when holding said hand out to a horse not really called Peanut, it will bite you. 

This horse is disguise.  He's in the Horse Witness Relocation Program. 

This horse is called John Henry.  I wanted to put up a bronze horse bust of Seabiscuit but I'm not gonna lie, it was a little underwhelming and I'm hoping it wasn't to scale.  John Henry could have eaten Seabiscuit. Note: Not a real horse.

Let's be honest. We were really here for the wine tasting. Just happened to be at the races.  Shameless plug for this random vineyard -let's hope they follow the blog and send me a case of wine.  Because that happens.  Just not yet.  Note: You should not drink and ride a racehorse.  The officials get mad.

We should all wear our floppy straw hats, shoulder bags and sandals.  Long dress girl is being shunned for not reading the memo properly.

Them: OMG, can you take our picture? Me: Ok, but I'm going to use my phone.  Ok, bye.

For the doubters that thought I was just drinking wine with random horses

Artistic. By me. Note: Not real horses.

I totally recognize this horse.  Worst disguise ever.

Not Michael Jackson.  Not even close.

Note: Not the basketball game

Why yes those are silver horses galloping around her ankles.  Left one won. By a furlong

*Incidentally none of these bet types were available. I don't know what America is doing but good horse race betting with the right names is not one of them.
**Technical term.  For experts only.  You should use "tight pants and shirt".